Promises
by TsamsyiuAtetsew
Summary: Kaidan's reluctant decision to join Shepard's fight against the Collectors leaves him with unanswered questions and distrust. Will he see Shepard as she is or will his view of her be marred by his hatred for Cerberus?
1. Chapter 1 - Reunions

**A/N: **This is my first foray into writing Mass Effect fan fic. I appreciate any reviews and critique you can give me, just be gentle :) Background wise, Shepard is a Sole survivor reputation, Spacer background and mostly paragon profile. She may or may not have a first name. :)

**Disclaimer:** None of these characters are mine, sadly.

**Pairings:** FemShep/Alenko. Perhaps someone else... who knows? ;)

**Rating:** T for now. Subject to change.

**Summary:** Having given into Shepard's persuasions and his own need for answers, Kaidan Alenko joins the crew of the SR2 in their quest to defeat the Collectors. Along the way he and Shepard attempt to reconcile with the events of the past two years, but will that attempt fail? Will Kaidan be blinded by his hatred of Cerberus? Will he loose the only thing that matters?

Chapter 1: Reunions

Horizon, a peaceful colony world in the Lera System of the Shadow Sea, had been their desired target. The Collectors had sent their swarms down in waves, paralyzing the colonists and preparing them for their abductors. Having found several people frozen where they stood, she had moved past quickly, hoping to find any other signs of the Collectors' presence. In a sense, she had. Encountering a few of them just past the underground generator, she had fought her way to the defense canons that the Alliance had set up; that he had set up...

With them activated and the Collector ship warded off, she and the team were left with one major obstacle, one that she hadn't thought she would encounter in the Terminus Systems. The initial contact had been more or less peaceful, though tentative. Standing in the face of his possible departure however, Shepard saw something of a slim opportunity to try and prove to this man, her former squadmate, her former lover, that she was still the woman he remembered. Convincing Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko was proving to be more of a challenge than she had anticipated.

"I could use someone like you on my crew, Kaidan. It'll be just like old times," Shepard offered hopefully. God, her heart was pounding at the uncertainty. There were so many things she wanted to say, needed to say. Kaidan scoffed, turning back to look at her.

"No, it won't. I'll never work for Cerberus. Goodbye, Shepard." He turned to leave, mouth set in a grim line. This wasn't the woman he loved. It couldn't be. Shepard moved after him, putting a hand on his arm.

"Wait. At least let me explain. I owe you that… Come with me, to the Normandy. I'll give you access to all of Cerberus' files. You can judge for yourself if I'm telling the truth or not."

Kaidan stopped, turned around, his brown eyes meeting Shepard's intense green ones. Her touch sent a shiver of longing through him, which the Staff Commander shoved away. This wasn't the woman he'd fallen in love with, he reminded himself. "You would betray them, like you did the Alliance?"

His voice held a note of disgust and Shepard flinched inwardly at the accusation. How had it come to this? The man she had loved.. still loved… looking at her as if she were a stranger. Or an impostor. How she longed to throw herself into his arms and bury her head against his chest. To loose herself in him. But now, now his eyes regarded her with a suspicion that made her heart sink. Shepard lifted her gaze to Kaidan's, her face resolute as she pushed aside the memories, the longings, that had stirred, unbidden within her. Two years, she reminded herself, you were dead and gone two years. Now was not the time, if there ever was one. "No, I wouldn't, because I'm not working for them. It's a convenient alliance, nothing more. I have zero interest in their organization. It doesn't matter what they think about me. The Illusive Man can fire me if he doesn't like it. I want you to know the truth. I want you to understand." _I need you to understand_, Shepard thought.

"You want answers about this, well, there's your way of getting them, Kaidan. Don't let your stubbornness destroy you," Garrus added.

"Why not, at least for a little while? If you don't like it, you can leave, simple as that." Shepard promised, silently grateful for Garrus' support. Kaidan shook his head.

"Are you kidding me Shepard?" His voice was angry and disbelieving. Shepard blew a long sigh and shook her head.

"You know me, Kaidan. When have I ever lied to you? Why would I now?" This wasn't how she imagined reuniting with him. Damn it.

Kaidan hesitated, then let out a heavy sigh, shoulders slumping forward. Part of him wanted nothing more to do with her. The shock and hurt of discovering the one person that mattered to him in the galaxy hadn't even had time to contact him had sparked resentment and wounded his heart. It had been devastating when she died… And finding her working with Cerberus nearly broke it anew. But on the other hand, he found himself wanting so very badly to know the truth of Shepard's sudden reappearance, know find out if what he'd heard was really true. "I can't turn my back on the Alliance," Kaidan protested hotly.

"You wouldn't be. You want the truth, I can give you the chance to verify it," Shepard pressed, staring up at him. Why did he have to be so damn stubborn?

His eyes met hers, and he quickly found himself looking away from those intense green eyes. There were so many emotions roiling around inside of him he couldn't think straight. Shit. Still, a chance to possibly make light of all this… it was tempting. If anything, at the very least he could discern if Shepard's motives were as she claimed. He couldn't believe that he was actually thinking this way about the woman he'd loved.

"All right, fine. You win, Shepard. I'll come. But if I find anything, I'll have to turn it over to the Alliance." She nodded, relief mixed with both hope and uncertainty flooding through her at his acceptance of her offer. It was a step. A small one, granted, but it was a step. That was more than she'd hoped for. More than she could've hoped for.

"I know. Thank you."

They boarded the shuttle silently, and headed back to the Normandy, both wondering what to say to the other. Garrus and Mordin were both engaged in conversation about the Collectors and Mordin's seeker countermeasure, trading tactics and appraisals of the situations they'd encountered during the mission. "Excellent test run. Pleased with results. Glad no one died," the salarian mused aloud, typing notes hurriedly into his Omni tool and generally looking proud of himself.

"Yeah… good work, Mordin. That was one hell of a fight though," the turian mused, and for once, Shepard was glad for Mordin's incessant chatter. It gave her something to think about other than what she would say to Kaidan when they returned to the Normandy. God, what could she say that she hadn't already? He'd shot her down each time. The Commander stole a gaze at Kaidan. He was sitting opposite her, obviously doubtful; his gaze darting around to Mordin, to Garrus, anywhere but to her, his mouth set in a thin line. As if sensing her inner turmoil, Garrus looked over at Shepard and gave a questioning look that the Commander returned with a silent nod. No words needed to be spoken in that regard. They both understood their former squadmate's feelings, and both of them hoped that he would come around to reason eventually.

It wasn't long before they stepped off the shuttle and into the Normandy's docking bay. It was a silent, strained elevator ride to the second deck where they were met in the debriefing room by Miranda and Jacob, who both studied Kaidan but said nothing of his presence there. Shepard was quick to take action. "Jacob, I want Kaidan to have full access to the Normandy and all files," she ordered. The young man nodded, then snapped off a crisp salute.

"Aye-aye ma'am." With that he turned on heel and left.

"Shepard, I can't allow that. Alenko is still with the Alliance. I won't have him interfere with a Cerberus operation, especially one of this magnitude," Miranda interjected, her brow furrowing as her gaze darted warily over to Alenko, bordering on disgust. How could Shepard bring him onto the ship? Was she out of her mind? 'Having an Alliance soldier on board – even one of your former crew – could jeopardize the mission," she added. They couldn't afford anything to go wrong. There was no margin for error here. Kaidan drew himself up and stared at Miranda, his face grim.

"You're damn right I'm still with the Alliance." He turned his head and looked Shepard in the eyes before adding, "I know where my loyalties lie." Shepard tried to pretend that his words didn't sting, that they didn't leave a mark on her already scarred heart, but they were arrows into her soul. She swallowed hard, then leveled a cool look at Miranda, her green eyes narrowing dangerously.

"This is _my_ ship, Miranda. My orders are clear. Make sure Alenko has unrestricted access. I won't repeat myself again." Shepard's voice was cold as ice and brooked no argument. The two women glared at each other, but eventually Miranda turned and walked out of the debriefing room.

Mordin entered and bobbed his head slightly, an idea having come to him as the women had argued. "Shepard, recommend that Alenko should come with me, get checked over for possible seeker swarm activity," Mordin suggested with his usual excitement. He couldn't pass this kind of opportunity up.

""Probably not a bad idea," Shepard agreed, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "What were those things anyway? They put us all in some sort of stasis field," Kaidan asked Mordin. Those things hadn't been big, but there had been so many of them, the colonists had been overcome in minutes. The salarian nodded eagerly.

"Yes. Seeker swarms used by Collectors to immobilize colonists for abduction. Impressive you were able to escape after stasis. Intriguing as well. Must study further!" Kaidan shot an inquiring look at Shepard who nodded encouragingly.

"Don't worry, you're in quite capable hands," she assured the Staff Commander with a brief smile.

"Right..."

With that, Shepard's teammates left her to report to the Illusive Man, who was no doubt waiting for her mission statement and reports. She really didn't feel like talking to him, especially now, but, sometimes you just had to grit your teeth and do whatever was needed, no matter how unpleasant. As she turned around, the screen flashed to life, showing a tall, dark haired man in a very expensive looking suit, leaning against a chair and idly smoking a cigarette. Shepard bit her tongue. She hated the man on principle. But, as she'd told Kaidan, he and Cerberus were the only ones willing to take on the Collectors.

"Shepard. Good work on Horizon. Hopefully the Collectors will think twice before attacking another colony," the Illusive man intoned, his eyes appraising the young soldier before him. The solider that he had poured near limitless resources into bringing back from the dead. His creation. His project. Shepard was proving to be a headache at times, but her skill, her resolve, her cunning made her sometimes intractable attitude worth the hassle.

"It's not a victory," The Commander stated flatly. "We interrupted the Collectors, but they still abducted half the colony." If they had gotten there just a little sooner... the thought bothered her, ate away at her. Could they have saved more? The entire colony, even? It was true that saving even half the colonists was a huge accomplishment, in light of who and what they were up against, but it still felt like a hollow victory at best. They'd forced the Collectors to beat a hasty retreat, but they still wound up taking people. The Illusive man flicked his cigarette's ashes into the ashtray dismissively.

"That's better than an entire colony, and more than we've accomplished since the abductions began," he pointed out. "The Collectors will be more careful now, but I think we could find another way to lure them in," he informed the Commander, getting down to business.

Shepard's eyes narrowed and her attention zeroed in on the Illusive man's words. Lure them in. Really…. "I wondered if you had something to do with that attack. Kaidan said that the Alliance got a tip about me and Cerberus." _I thought you had a hand in this, you amoral bastard_, she thought bitterly, her lips set in a thin line as she drew herself straighter and placed her hands on her hips, giving the Illusive Man a searing look. She was not impressed. The Illusive man took a long drag of his cigarette and regarded Shepard with a look that bordered on boredom.

"I released a few carefully disguised rumors that you might be alive and working for Cerberus." Shepard felt her hackles rise at the revelation of this information, but held her temper in check- for now. She hated being kept in the dark. But what she hated most was being manipulated and used. Her nostrils flared and her gaze became hard; the only outward sign of Shepard's disgust that the Illusive Man was able to discern. Oh well, she knew the risks. He wasn't sorry for it. It had been necessary.

"And I assume Kaidan Alenko's presence wasn't just some half-assed coincidence." It wasn't a question, and the Illusive Man knew it. Shepard's tone suggested that she knew exactly what he had done, but it didn't matter if she did or not. "Maybe you even wanted him there," Shepard added, her voice sharp, but not hostile. Anger boiled inside her, but she took steady breaths and forced herself to remain calm. Let the Illusive Man guess her mood. Bastard. The Illusive Man waved an disinterested hand at the Commander's reaction.

"I won't lie, Shepard. Having one of your former crewmen there was a step in the right direction. I suspected the Collectors were looking for you, or people connected to you. Now I know for certain. It was a risk, but I couldn't just wait for them to take another colony. You understand." Taking a long drag on his cigarette, the man cocked his head nonchalantly. "We're at war, Shepard. You of all people should know that, and any advantage we find, we use."

Kaidan left the tech lab, looking for Shepard when he caught snippets of conversation. Upon hearing his name, the Staff Commander backtracked, leaning against the briefing room's closed doors. That his name had come up was shocking, intriguing even. Why was he in the conversation, and what had Shepard just said about Cerberus? And though he felt slightly dishonest at listening into the exchange, he couldn't just walk away as the conversation continued on:

Shepard pressed her lips into a fine line, glaring daggers at the Illusive Man's transmission. It was probably a good thing he wasn't actually standing in front of her, or she'd be sorely pressed to keep from decking him. Instead she lifted her head defiantly, looking him in the eyes. "I see. What were you trying to prove? You really think that you can just go behind my back – manipulate me – put Kaidan and thousands of colonists in danger to prove some damned hunch of yours?" A spark was in her eyes now. A righteous fury. "You think that just because you brought me back you can do whatever you damn well please?" She exhaled sharply, arms crossed against her chest, all but daring the Illusive Man to refute her.

Kaidan did a double take. Shepard's fury was evident in her voice, even from the other side of the door. Clearly, she wasn't impressed and was more than just a little at odds with this Illusive Man's ideas, and the way he did things. The thought gave him some measure of comfort, maybe even hope, but also inflamed his ambivalence towards Shepard. What else did she share with this man? What else did he know? Just because she was balking at his plan now, didn't mean she wasn't in league with him.

"I am not letting you put more innocent people in danger. We do this my way, do you understand me?" Shepard's voice was stern and commanding, the tone she would take (and had) when addressing an insubordinate of lower rank.

If the Illusive Man was surprised, or even angry at her reaction, then he hid it well. He regarded Shepard for one long moment. Clearly, she was just as she had been before the Normandy had been attacked. She'd interfered with his organization, back when she and her crew had been tracking down Saren. Her views hadn't changed. But that spark, that stubbornness, he could find a way to use that to his – and Cerberus's advantage. He just needed to provide the right motivation.

"We have to make sure they don't abduct anyone else," Shepard went on. Time to get back to the reason she was here. The Illusive Man nodded slightly.

"I want the Collectors stopped for that very reason. That's why we're doing this, Shepard. I'm devoting all resources to finding a way though the Omega-4 relay. We have to hit them where they live. Your team will need to be strong, as will their resolve. There's no looking back. The same goes for you. Can I assume you've put your past relationships behind you?" he asked, leveling a cool look at the Commander, and awaiting her reaction. Obviously this Alenko was special to her, and he needed her clear headed. Shepard didn't flinch but her voice was stony as she replied,

"None of your damn business." Her words were like ice as she put up a hand in emphasis. That topic was definitely off limits. Especially to him. The Illusive Man gave no outward indication of having heard Shepard's reply, as he casually flicked his cigarette ash before answering.

"If it affects the mission, better you should leave it behind. Shepard, once you find a way though the Omega-4 relay to the Collector homeworld, there's no guarantee you'll return. To have any hope of surviving, you and your team must be fully committed to this."

_Tell me something I don't know_, Shepard thought darkly. She lifted her chin, looking firm and resolute. She wouldn't let the Illusive Man get under her skin. "Let me worry about them, you just find us a way to the Collector homeworld," she informed the Illusive Man curtly. And _stay the hell out of my personal life. You've already messed that up enough._ The Illusive Man was unfazed, of course. Shepard's response was to be expected. She was idealistic. Determined.

"I just want to be upfront about your odds. You'll need everyone at their best. I've forwarded three more dossiers. Keep building your team while I find a way through the relay. And be careful, Shepard, the Collectors will be watching you," he said, as he hit a button on his console, disconnecting the call.

"As if they weren't before, you scheming bastard," Shepard muttered to herself. She walked out the door just as Kaidan beat a hasty exit himself to the CIC, trying to look preoccupied. There was a lot of things he had to think about now. He needed to be alone.

Avoiding Shepard, Kaidan quickly took the elevator to the crew deck. He needed time to think. The Illusive Man was the head of Cerberus, and from the snippets of his conversation with Shepard, they didn't see eye to eye on how to go about dealing with the Collectors. What gall, to intrude upon Shepard's personal life. Kaidan rubbed his forehead, and found himself staring out into space in the starboard observation deck. Shepard hadn't been happy that the Illusive Man had drawn him into this, and Kaidan had heard it himself, there had been rumors planted about her return. And her involvement with Cerberus. Damn, what a mess he'd landed in. Judging from Shepard's reaction, she'd genuinely had no knowledge of it, and her motives were not one in the same as this Illusive Man's. A shard of guilt worked its way into Kaidan's heart at his suspicions, but he pushed it down. That didn't mean she wasn't working for him, he told himself. Obviously, he lacked a great deal of information. Someone here had to know the full story. Someone had to know what was really going on. He'd seen Garrus among the squad on Horizon with Shepard. Perhaps talking to the turian was a good place to start. He needed answers.


	2. Chapter 2 - Troubled Times

Chapter 2: Troubled Times

Having walked about the ship for the first half hour after being released from Mordin's lab, Kaidan knew where nearly everyone was. He had seen Miranda headed back into her quarters, which was where the old CO's office used to be on the SR1. Mordin was still in the lab, running simulations and organizing data. Jacob was in the armory, Chambers was still in the CIC, coordinating Shepard's messages, and Garrus was holed up in the main battery. Having been forewarned about the "convict" on board, by the Yeoman, the Staff Commander had avoided going below to the sub deck in Engineering. Actually, he avoided the whole deck altogether. No one there he wanted to talk to, anyway. Just Cerberus personnel. Standing by the aft table in the mess hall, Kaidan was faced with the path ahead that would lead him to the turian. Taking a breath, he headed for the forward battery.

It was a strange feeling to be here, on this ship, Kaidan mused. Nothing was right on this ship. It was all.. wrong. It looked so much like the old Normandy that it make his heart ache. So many memories. But it wasn't. It wasn't the real Normandy at all. It was nothing more than an impostor. A copy. Where there should have been Alliance logos proudly displayed, there were Cerberus logos. How could Shepard tell him with a straight face that she wasn't working for them? They gave her this ship, and its crew... all Cerberus, save for a handful of personnel that Shepard had recruited. But those people had been hand picked for her by Cerberus. They'd given her everything. A ship, a crew… a new life. Would there be room for him? Did he want there to be? Kaidan wasn't sure.

Heaving a heavy sigh, Kaidan squared his shoulders and stepped up to the door. Entering, he saw the console where Garrus would normally monitor the main gun and perform modifications electronically, but the former C-Sec officer was nowhere to be seen. Hearing a voice from further down the left side, Kaidan stepped around the corner, finally spotting the turian making some manual adjustments.

"It's integrating beautifully. The Thanix cannon will be ready by the time we reach Ilium."

"No issues, I hope." That was Shepard's voice. With the size and closeness in the room, the human didn't have to strain to hear his former CO over the comm.

"Not a one. It may even be integrated before we get into the system. At the rate I'm going now, it's almost a sure bet, Shepard."

"Good; we'll need all the advantages we can get. Jacob is working on the armor upgrade now, and Zaeed is reaching out to a few merc friends to get more suitable weapons and modifications."

"I was a little concerned about him, Shepard. I've heard both good and bad things about Masanni." Garrus made one last push on something, and he was showered with sparks. "There we go. Now to just let that mellow out and I think I can start the rest of the hardware integration within the next few hours."

"The Illusive Man paid him to do this mission, so I assume the guy's loyal to his next paycheck." Shepard sounded tired as she said this. a"Granted, he doesn't seem the cut and run type, either. We take what we can get, since the Alliance dumped us."

"I hear that." Garrus nodded, his visor flickering for a moment as he looked at something more closely. "Ah well, get some rest, Shepard. Horizon was hard on all of us, but I know it was more difficult for you personally."

"Don't have to tell me twice, Garrus." With that, there was a click signaling that the conversation was over. Kaidan chose this moment to make his presence known. Clearing his throat, he saw the turian look up. "Kaidan. Sorry, I didn't hear you come in." Garrus said by way of greeting. He'd figured the man would've been keen on talking to Shepard, given the conversation on Horizon he'd witnessed. "Yeah..." Not ready to reveal what he had heard, Kaidan kept himself expressionless. "I've been doing some thinking," the Staff Commander admitted. "About time," Garrus commented dryly. Kaidan ignored the sarcastic remark. "Didn't get much time to talk down on Horizon…" the Staff Commander added.

"No, we really didn't." Nodding in satisfaction at the results of his handiwork, Garrus stepped back in front of the main console, initiating a diagnostic scan on the systems. "I know this must all be overwhelming."

"Overwhelming is an understatement..." Leaning against the wall just to the right of the door, Kaidan watched as Garrus turned around to face him. It was only then that he saw the damage to the turian's face and armor. "Damn Garrus, what happened? Have a bad date with a wall? Or do turians just get uglier with age?" Kaidan couldn't resist teasing his old friend, despite the circumstances. "A wall? No. A rocket launcher, actually." The turian chuckled as he thought about it. "Shortly after meeting up with Shepard again on Omega, and finding out she was after the Collectors, I ah, wound up taking a rocket to the face, courtesy of the Blue Suns. Woke up in the medbay here." Kaidan did a double take, and whistled at the injury. "But why the hell were you on Omega?" Kaidan's brown eyes held a look of puzzlement as he met the Turian's dark ones. "What happened to you after we all got back? I heard you went into training to become a Spectre."

Garrus sighed, looking away. It wasn't something that he liked talking about, and in truth, he really only trusted Shepard with it. It wasn't something he liked to remember. Fortunately, Kaidan didn't ask for details. "It's a long story, Kaidan. Suffice it to say, I got fed up with the bullshit on the Citadel. After.. well after the attack, I trained to become a Spectre, but I just couldn't deal with the red tape and bullshit bureaucratic crap of it all." Kaidan nodded his agreement. "I can understand that," he told his friend sympathetically. Garrus hadn't been too enthused at how C-Sec handled the investigation of Saren, back when they'd all first met. This was clearly the last straw for him. Garrus heard the console beep behind him and checked the results of the diagnostic. Nodding at its success, he initiated some of the tech integrations that didn't have to be manually calibrated. "I got tired of seeing the bad ones get off with a slap on the wrist and the first-timers getting the hard time. Being a Spectre didn't change a damn thing. It was all bullshit. I had a nice argument with Executor Palin and left." Turning back to face the human, he blinked. "Found my way onto Omega and tried to clean up some of the filth on the station. I know Aria wasn't too pleased, but that's nothing to really worry about unless you cross her."

"Aria?" Kaidan saw Garrus' mandibles flare at his confusion. "Who's that?"

"Don't worry, you'll probably meet her soon enough. Hard to explain, really. Ruler of Omega." Garrus continued. "Anyway… I had sealed myself in a tower, and the Blood Pack, Blue Suns, and Eclipse mercs were all after me. Shepard gunned them all down to get to me, and then they managed to get a gunship working after I thought I took it down. They launched a few rockets, and well... You get the idea."

"Damn. So now you're here and working for Cerberus..." The one thing that Kaidan had really wanted to discuss was finally coming out, and Garrus seemed to have picked up on it; though he didn't act it when he spoke next. "I don't work for Cerberus. Hell, as far as they're concerned, I'm just using their resources." Garrus leaned back against the console, looking down at Kaidan. "I signed on for this mission to work for Shepard."

"So you didn't know about the Cerberus angle at all until Shepard recruited you?" Kaidan pressed on. He wanted to know why Garrus had done this. He needed to shed some light on this situation. A situation that he had no understanding of right now. That alone frustrated him, maybe even scared him a little. The turian was a very morally upstanding man, in Kaidan's opinion. This seemed incredibly out of character for him, a fact he wasn't shy of sharing with Garrus. "You know how much they hate aliens," The Staff Commander reminded the turian. That had bothered him from the moment he'd seen Shepard and Garrus on Horizon. They both knew the organization's goals, and its dark history. Garrus shook his head. "No, Kaidan. I'm working for Shepard. I joined her mission. It's not about Cerberus, it's about stopping the Collectors. They just happen to be the only game in town," the former C-Sec officer replied curtly, fingers flying over the interface as he managed the guns. Kaidan's faith in the Alliance was admirable, but he let it blind him to the real situation. "We're using their resources."

"I see..." The staff commander took this time to choose his words carefully. He had a mass of questions he wanted answered, but wasn't sure if Garrus even knew all that much. "And the others? What's your take on the rest of her squad?"

"You've met Mordin." The turian stifled a laugh at Kaidan's expression. "He's a little eccentric, but he's former STG and knows how to handle himself. Miranda's got some pretty good biotics. She's a hard one to talk to, though. Cold. A bit of an elitist, as I'm sure you've noticed. Jacob's former Alliance, from what I hear-"

"Yeah, he served on Eden Prime during the Geth attack there. Not sure why he left or if he was honorably discharged. Not enough information." Kaidan cut Garrus off, but the turian didn't seem too surprised.

"Yeah. He's a decent guy to work with; a little rusty on the biotics, but he'll do all right, I think. Zaeed and Kasumi are good; he's a mercenary, and she's a master thief. Both were paid or hired by Cerberus specifically for this mission. They can both handle themselves in tight spots. Grunt... He's a little reckless but useful in a firefight. Still got a lot to learn, though." Garrus paused for a moment, unsure of what to say about the last. Finally settling on something, he went on. "Jack... She could tear a person in half with her biotics. She's crazy powerful. Rumor has it that she's the first natural that anyone's ever seen in humanity."

"A natural human biotic? That's impossible. We've all had to be exposed to Eezo in utero and then have to deal with implants and all that." Kaidan scratched his head in frustration. "Still got the migraines to prove it."

"Just going off of pieces of conversation I've heard." Garrus shrugged, causing his shoulder to pop from lack of movement. "All in all, the team's looking pretty impressive. We might just pull this off."

"And Shepard?" The question was there, and Garrus wanted to jump on it like a rabid varren, but he didn't. Restraining his reply, he left it open so that Kaidan could elaborate on what exactly he wanted to know.

"She's the same as she always was."

"You think so?" Garrus had listened for a tiny fragment of hope in Kaidan's voice, but he didn't hear it. Instead, there was more skepticism than anything. "She's been resurrected by Cerberus, funded by Cerberus, and this entire ship is flooded with their people. The Shepard I knew wouldn't stand for this. She hated the human-centric terrorist organization."

The turian took the accusations in stride. "We've seen a lot of shit together, all of us, Kaidan. You know me. My views on right and wrong. Why do you think I'm here? I'm here for Shepard. If you're asking do I trust Cerberus, the answer's no. Do I trust Shepard? Absolutely," Garrus replied with confidence. Kaidan shook his head. "But should you? Trust her, I mean. Look at where you are, Garrus, where Shepard is." Garrus could only stare at Kaidan and boggle at the human's reaction. "And they say turians are stubborn..." Garrus shook his head in disbelief. "Why can't you look past that? Sure, we're on a Cerberus ship, surrounded by a Cerberus crew, and they all think they're doing the right thing by following Shepard to stop the Collectors. That's our goal here. If Shepard had any intentions of being the Illusive man's puppet, or going along with his schemes, I'd be the first to leave. You and I both know her better than that, Kaidan... Or at least I thought you did."

The turian shot a meaningful look at the human. "But that's not why you're here, at least not all of it," Garrus observed, looking back over at Kaidan. "I overheard some things after getting done with Mordin in the lab. Passed the briefing room. Shepard was saying that Horizon was a setup." No point in being evasive about it. "Yeah. That's what she told me. Not really surprising. This is Cerberus we're talking about. So a couple thousand colonists get abducted... doesn't matter to the Illusive Man. None of his people were taken," the turian added sourly. "She told you her suspicions?" Kaidan found himself feeling slightly jealous of the turian. Shepard obviously confided in him often, and he couldn't help but wonder how close the two were now. "We've talked, yeah. About the mission, mostly. She asked me how I felt, about working with Cerberus. It's strange, I admit, working alongside them," Garrus conceded to Kaidan as he worked. "The ones I've talked to all genuinely believe they're doing the right thing, for humanity, and for the galaxy. That's why they're here. You might want to talk to Yeoman Chambers. She's pretty open minded. And I know that Joker signed on with them. I haven't talked much with me but he mentioned it once or twice," the turian added. Kaidan was stunned at the news.

"Joker?" What had it taken to drive one of the best pilots in the Alliance away, and into the arms of such an organization as this? It seemed everyone he'd served with back on the Normandy had turned away from the Alliance. "You should talk to him, Kaidan. Might help you to get his opinion on Cerberus. And the Alliance."

"And Shepard?" Kaidan's voice held an almost accusatory note in it.

"Maybe."

"Well, do you trust her or not, Kaidan?"

"I did once..." He'd loved her once, too.

"Then what's stopping you now?"

"I don't know, Garrus. It's like I don't even know her anymore."

Garrus was silent a moment. The truth had finally come out. Kaidan leaned back against the wall, inclining his head to look at Garrus. The silence was threatening to become more than just uncomfortable. "You mentioned the Illusive Man. I assume that he's the one that lured the Collectors to Horizon." And set up the rumors he'd heard. Garrus nodded. "Yeah, that's him. Smug bastard, but he's giving Shepard free rein on this mission, apparently." That was a blessing. The less oversight the better, Garrus thought. "So you're not thrilled about this Illusive Man, are you? Why is Shepard taking orders from him?" Kaidan asked Garrus. "I'm about as thrilled as Shepard is, to be honest. I also get the feeling she listens to him when she feels like it. He's the head of Cerberus, the guy responsible for bringing her back, he said." The turian smirked. "I don't think the Illusive Man is used to someone taking matters into their own hands." Satisfaction colored his voice. Shepard had a tendency to ignore the Illusive Man's orders and approach missions her way. She also had the backbone to call him out on his shit. "I don't think the Illusive Man cares, as long as she gets the results he wants. When he doesn't get his way, well.. nothing he can really do.. We both know Shepard's not the type to be intimidated. As for working with Cerberus, so far everyone on this ship's been nothing other than polite. Surprising, really, but that I can deal with. If She's not about to let him run roughshod over her, Kaidan." The Staff Commander took a moment to mull over the information in silence. It fit with what he'd heard through the door. Still, the doubts knawed away at him. What if this was some carefully constructed ruse the Commander didn't even realize? Some despicable manipulation by Cerberus to keep her under their thumb? No, he found himself rejecting that idea outright. Garrus was a sensible man and could smell bullshit a mile away. He would've been the first to walk had something not felt right. And Shepard… well… he didn't know anymore. That unsettled him.

"He was the one that brought her back,:" he said, almost to himself. "Yeah. His orders, from what I've heard." The information raised many more questions in Kaidan's mind, but he shoved them aside. Garrus moved to another console, pushing a few buttons. "Things change. We have to work together to end the Collector threat. Unfortunately, the Council doesn't care and the Alliance doesn't seem to be all that concerned. Cerberus is the only game in town."

Kaidan pushed himself up from the wall and sighed. "You're right.. things have changed, Garrus. I'd never imagine seeing you side with Cerberus. Or defend them." Garrus stifled a groan. When would Kaidan see reason? "You weren't in our squad when we were on Horizon. She- we did our best to get there in time, to save as many as we could. I'm sorry it's not good enough for you, but there it is. You might not like it but I call it as I see it," the turian added. "What are you really asking here, Kaidan?" Garrus let a subtle hint of annoyance enter his tone. "Are you asking me if I trust her?"

"I... Yeah, that's what I'm asking." Not really sure of himself, the staff commander looked back up at Garrus; having found his hands interesting just a few seconds earlier. "I want to know whose side she's on."

"I think this is a more appropriate question: Do you trust her, or do you believe the rumors the Alliance has been spreading around?"

"I used to..." The statement was full of uncertainty. Kaidan knew somewhere deep down that he had trusted Shepard completely during their pursuit of Saren and Sovereign. Now though, he wasn't so sure. "I think she's changed, Garrus. I see it in the way she looks at me and the way she has been acting. She's not the woman I remember."

"Are you sure?" The annoyance was starting to build in Garrus' tone, his subharmonics becoming more noticeable. "You're only seeing what _you've_ been through, Kaidan: your loss, your feeling betrayed, and your pain. Look at it from her point of view."

"She seems like time hasn't passed at all and like nothing ever happened." Kaidan's own frustration was showing now. Raising his eyes, he frowned deeply. "Something did happen, Garrus. I lost the woman I loved. She blew up along with the Normandy."

"Believe me, I don't need reminding." Garrus' eyes narrowed slightly as he turned back to the console. "I think about it often. I'm sure she doesn't either. One minute, dead, then next.. well.. This is just how she's dealing with it." Turning back after seeing what he was hoping to, his expression softened slightly. "How else do you think she would deal with something like that, Kaidan? You knew her best."

"Maybe I didn't."

"I can't give you a straight answer here. It all comes down to whether you trust her or not. I do, and I always will." The conversation was taking a dive for the worst, and the turian knew it. Landing the soldier with a serious look, he continued. "Think about it Kaidan; she was dead, gone, for two years. What do you want from her that she hasn't already done?"

"The same thing I've wanted since I saw her on Horizon; answers." Standing more straight-backed, Kaidan narrowed his eyes. "I want to know why she didn't come back to the Alliance, why she didn't trust them or the Council, and why she didn't even try to contact me at all since she's been... awake."

"From what I understand, the Council claimed that she was fixated on the Reapers, and that they were only a figment of her and Saren's imagination. They're calling Sovereign a creation of the Geth."

"Maybe Sovereign was the only one-"

"And they've convinced you too." Garrus frowned at Kaidan's unfinished statement. "Do you honestly believe that Sovereign was the last of its kind? You know what happened on Ilos with Vigil-"

"Funny. I wasn't on Ilos; you were. Shepard had you and Tali go. Same thing with Virmire. You and Liara went with her then. Couple missions before that, she brought Liara on those, too." Kaidan's eyes narrowed. "I thought once that Shepard had a thing for her."

"Now you're just sounding paranoid." The bluntness in Garrus' statement didn't seem to phase the human one bit. "Joker's been here longer than me. If you want another opinion, ask him. He'll tell you the same thing. She's still the same person you remember, and her feelings haven't changed. She wouldn't have brought you here if they had."

"We'll see." The Staff Commander had already turned to leave before he said this.

When the door closed behind him, Garrus shook his head, looking to the ship wide comm control. Connecting to the bridge, he heard Joker's voice.

"Hey Garrus, what's up?"

"Kaidan's coming your way. It's not going to be a pleasant conversation."

"Why? What happened?"

"Let's just say he's questioning everyone's loyalty." The turian had no better way of explaining it without going into details. Knowing that the bridge was open to the CIC, he didn't want to have the entire deck, possibly including Kaidan, hear what had happened. "You'll probably find out soon enough."

"Wow, thanks." The sarcasm was slightly more thick than normal. "Highlight of my day, Garrus."

"Low point of mine." Pausing in his monitoring the panel, Garrus saw another call coming through. "That's Shepard. Let me know how that goes. Maybe you can get to him, being former Alliance and all..."

"No problem, will do." Hearing this, Garrus terminated the link from his end, choosing to go ahead and answer Shepard's call.

"Trouble sleeping, Shepard?"

"Yeah, that's not happening." The defeated tone in her voice made Garrus frown. "Have you got a minute?"

"Yeah. I don't have any hardware to calibrate for another two hours. What's on your mind?"

"I think I need to talk some things out. You mind lending an ear?"

"You never have to ask." Setting his omni tool to monitor the progress of the integration remotely, Garrus turned for the door. "I'll be up in a minute."

"I appreciate it."

Meanwhile, Kaidan stepped off the lift and entered the CIC. Passing Kelly Chambers, he made his way to the bridge, where Joker was glaring at the holo of the AI, EDI. Choosing to stand just behind the flight lieutenant, Kaidan watched as the scene before him played out.

"Really? Very funny, EDI."

"You did insist on manual control, Mr. Moreau."

"Yeah..." The frown on Joker's face was almost comical. Unable to suppress a small snort of laughter, Kaidan wasn't surprised to see the chair in front of him turn, revealing the man in his casual Cerberus uniform. ""Well look who's back! Feels like a school reunion or something." Joker turned around in the pilot's chair, a grin stretching from ear to ear at the sight of Kaidan. Kaidan found himself smiling. No matter the circumstances, Joker's ready wit could make a situation lighter. "Yeah. Well, I'm here, for now, at least," he told the pilot. "So, Kaidan, how's the SR2 treating you?"

"This thing is huge compared to the SR1." Kaidan looked around the bridge, seeing nothing had really changed in its design. "Been a while, Joker. How'd you wind up here?"

"Well, after the battle of the Citadel and all, things seemed alright. Sure, we go off to face a few Geth and all. Well, when the Normandy was destroyed, I was left with nothing. You went back to serving with the Alliance, Garrus went into training to be a Spectre, Wrex went home to Tuchanka, Tali apparently went back to the Migrant Fleet, and Liara... Well, who knows where she went." Looking at Kaidan with a slightly annoyed expression, Joker continued. "I was grounded; the Alliance took away the one thing that mattered to me. Then, if you said Reaper too loud, they threatened to lock you up in a psych ward. That doesn't include the fact that they basically called Shepard a raving lunatic not even a month after she died. So hell yeah, I joined Cerberus."

"They didn't call her a lunatic..." Kaidan looked thoughtful for a moment, eyeing Joker as he stood there. "They didn't have enough proof that Sovereign wasn't a Geth creation-"

"So that's what they told you? That they didn't have enough evidence..." Joker sounded skeptical. "More like they didn't want to believe it," he scoffed. Eying Kaidan for a moment, he went on speaking. "You don't trust Cerberus or Shepard right now, do you?"

"Definitely don't trust Cerberus; no offense."

"What about Shepard? I mean, you two were kinda... involved back before we went to Ilos."

"Yeah... We were involved." Looking down at Joker, Kaidan couldn't help but feel more frustrated and angry. "She's not the same person I was ready to follow through Hell and back, Joker. Not anymore."

"Seems the same to me; going after mythical creatures, launching a suicide mission, and hell-bent on destroying the Reapers... Oh yeah and recruiting a kick-ass team of non-humans to take on the Collectors."

"I mean emotionally." Frowning deeply, the Staff Commander crossed his arms. "She acts like everything's fine and like nothing put our relationship on hold for two years."

"Yeah... Well… she was dead for two years." Joker actually looked angry now and his voice was tight. "Wakes up on a Cerberus station, is told that her entire team moved on, and then she's suckered into a race to stop the Collectors. Forgive her if she hasn't had time to think about how bad her life sucks right now."

"You and Garrus have both said that she was dead." Kaidan's voice rose in volume as he said this, settling at a forced and angry half shout. "If that's true, then how is she here, how did they bring her back, and is it the real Shepard-"

"Let's get one thing straight. That's the real Shepard. I don't know how they brought her back, and I really don't care. She's here, she still cares about you for some reason, and you're going to have to take that up with someone who knows more about it." Having actually risen out of his chair, Joker stood as close to attention as he could, not quite matching Kaidan's height. "The Alliance fucked us over, man. And they didn't even bother with a reach around. Buried every shred of evidence about the Reapers. Split us up. Yeah real stand up bunch, the Alliance." In the midst of the anger in Joker's voice, Kaidan also detected hurt. Flying was everything to him. It was his life, his passion. To have been barred from doing something so important to him must have been like loosing a limb. "They didn't wanna hear what we had to say. Better to pretend it never happened, in their opinion. Didn't see them mourn Shepard much did you? Nope. Just swept it under the rug," Joker huffed out. Reaching back against the pilot's chair, he carefully lowered himself back down, and was prepared to turn around when he said something that shocked the human biotic. "Oh and Kaidan, accept who she is and get over yourself." Turning back to the helm, he continued. "None of this was ever about you."

Kaidan's mouth opened, but he found himself at a loss for words. Saying nothing, he departed from the bridge.

Garrus exited the lift on deck one, seeing the entrance to Shepard's personal cabin ahead. Crossing the small walkway, he stepped inside as the door opened. The cabin was decently sized for the commanding officer of a warship and neatly arranged. Aquariums lined the left wall, and he noted that they were mostly empty, save for a few fish that looked like the ones Harrot sold on Omega. Looking past the private terminal, he saw Shepard sitting on the sofa, reading a datapad; she turned, green eyes locking on him.

"Thanks for coming, Garrus." Standing, she moved to the terminal, checking her messages. "I just feel like there's this whole wall of information I've got to sort out, and I feel like I might need a big gun to blast through it all."

"No problem." This made Garrus chuckle slightly as he stepped past the threshold. "If anyone's got a big enough gun to blast through it, I guess I do."

"That's what I'm counting on." Satisfied that there was nothing new from Cerberus, the Alliance, or Anderson, Shepard motioned for the turian to follow her back down to the sofa. "I don't know what to do here. I just got a message from Anderson saying that the Council wants to meet with me. On top of that, Horizon was a set up, Kaidan's aboard the ship again, and I'm nowhere close to stopping the Collectors or getting through the Omega 4 Relay." Her voice was tired sounding. "Yeah, I can see you're having a bad day." His dry humor was at least appreciated as Shepard let a half-smile eventually reach her lips. "Which part is worse?"

"I don't know, and that's what bothers me." Looking back to the image of Kaidan that was on her desk by the terminal, Shepard felt a twist in her chest, as if her heart was constricting. "I've heard what the Alliance has been saying, and I'm sure the Council will say the same. The Collectors are abducting more colonists than we can save, and we're running out of time..."

"And Kaidan..." Garrus really wanted to avoid the topic, remembering the less than comfortable conversation in the main battery earlier. "I'm guessing that his being here is more stress than relief..."

"Kaidan..." Head dropping into her hands, Shepard shook it hopelessly. "Garrus, what am I doing wrong?" Brushing the hair back out of her face as she looked up again, but she didn't met the turian's eyes. "Horizon was just wrong... I felt like his mind was already made up about me. I'm sure he doesn't trust me; he thinks I feel like I'm in debt to Cerberus and that I think I owe them... I don't owe them a damned thing."

"Yeah..." Hesitation evident in his tone, Garrus considered revealing the topic of their conversation just before he came up to the cabin. There was really no negative side to the truth, so he nodded, his decision made. She was his friend, and she deserved to know. "Actually, he came by to see me just before you called again. He started off asking simple questions like what happened after the destruction of the Normandy, how the squad is turning out, and so on. Then he asked about you."

"You make that sound like a bad thing." Shepard straightened up, looking at him with puzzlement.

"It is when he's questioning your motives and your sanity." Subharmonics becoming more obvious, Garrus nodded, mandibles flaring slightly. "He asked what was going through your mind, working for Cerberus, in fewer words. Oh, and you're right about him not trusting you."

"I should have expected this..."

"You shouldn't have. You couldn't have, Shepard." Feeling a tentative hand on her shoulder, Shepard blinked. Garrus was giving her a serious look. "He shouldn't question your motives, Shepard. The rest of us don't."

"I tried seeing things from his point of view, Garrus." Standing up, she felt the turian's hand fall. Pacing back and forth, she became slightly frustrated. "I've tried looking at myself as a traitor to the Alliance, as anything other than what I am... and honestly," Turning back to face him, she looked much worse than she had seconds before. The defeated posture, exhaustion-riddled features, and the tone of voice all merged into a version of Shepard the turian never wanted to see again. "it sickens me. I could never be what they're claiming I am. I'm not a traitor, Garrus... and I'm sure as hell not a ghost."

"I know, Shepard."

"Damn this." Frustration rose in her voice as she rose from the sofa to pace "I'm not a traitor!" Why did no one believe her? She needed more than just a good squad to pull this mission off. "I'm starting to think that finding a way through the Omega-4 relay will be the easy part, Garrus," Shepard sighed. The turian put his hand on her shoulder, patting it. "Things are stressful enough Shepard. You know who you are. That's all that should matter."

"I know, Garrus, I know. But it doesn't."

The look she gave him made Garrus almost want to embrace her. "Screw them, Shepard. You're doing the right thing, and we're behind you 100% of the way."  
"Yeah, thanks, Garrus."  
"Get some rest, Shepard. You need it. I'll be here if you need to talk again."  
"Thanks. Let me know when the weapons systems are upgraded."

"You'll be the first to know." With that the turian gave the Commander's shoulder a gentle squeeze and left. Shepard looked back at the picture on her desk, her heart sinking to her boots as she sighed. Garrus was right. There was nothing more to be done, or said, today. She needed rest. Hopefully, she would get it.


	3. Chapter 3 - Limitations

Chapter 3: Limitations

The haze of smoke was so thick it was hard to see. Flames licked at her armor. Another explosion rocked the limping Normandy, tossing Shepard hard into the wall. She staggered back, shook it off and headed for the cockpit. She had to get Joker. Kaidan had gotten the other crew onto the evac shuttles. There was no time to think of herself. The crew came before her. The scene abruptly shifted, and Shepard found herself clinging to the remnants of her ship, even as the vast ocean of space pulled at her.

Then the dark and the cold.

The penetrating darkness.

It swirled around, wrapping its tendrils around her around her like some hideous monster, pressing icy hands across her chest, her throat. She couldn't breathe-

Shepard woke, panting, a cold sweat on her body. She ran her hands through her hair and took a shaky breath, sitting upright. She was alive again. But that dream.. that nightmare... it hadn't been a figment of an overstressed mind. Shepard sighed, heaved herself out of bed. She didn't remember dying. That was probably a good thing, she realized. But she did remember how it felt to be floating helpless in space, in agonizing pain, in those moments before she lost consciousness and then... well she didn't want to think about it.

_Kaidan, go_. Those had been the last words she'd spoken to him before she'd died. Shit. Could she just stop thinking about him for five minutes? Maybe asking him to come was a bad idea after all. But she so badly wanted him to understand... and he had accepted the offer. She had to at least try. Shepard dressed quickly and pulled out the datapad she'd left on the nightstand. As long as she was up she might as well review the new dossiers. An asari Justicar and an assassin. Interesting. She wasn't sure what precisely a Justicar was, but she had to be something special. How Cerberus had gotten their information, she didn't know, and didn't much care, either. She needed the best of the best.

A few hours later, Shepard appeared on the crew deck for coffee and a quick meal. Garrus had come out of hiding from the main battery for much the same reason, and spotted the Commander as she headed for the chow. Her face was pale and drawn, her hair half brushed, tied back in a ponytail. She looked like hell.

"Damn Shepard, you all right?" Garrus asked as the Commander grabbed a cup of coffee, gazing at her with concern. Rupert's brew wasn't great, but it was all they had, and she needed to wake up, especially after the night she'd had.

"Fine. Just.. couldn't sleep is all."

"Right. Joker says we've entered the Tasale System. Ilium isn't far now. We'll be docking soon I imagine."

"Yeah. The sooner the better," she sighed.

"You sure you're okay Shepard?" Garrus asked her, following on the Commander's heels as she returned her plates and mug to Rupert.

"I'll be fine, thanks, Garrus. Gear up and meet me and Miranda at the airlock," Shepard ordered, clapping him on the back. Miranda had wanted to speak with her before they docked. Shepard smiled at the turian and left for Miranda's office.

Garrus watched the Commander depart with some concern. Things were weighing heavily on her mind, he knew, but she very rarely let it show. Kaidan made his presence known a few short moments later as he slipped over to grab chow and coffee, nodding curtly to those gathered at the tables. The two locked eyes before Garrus shook his head and moved on towards the lift. He didn't feel like enduring another lecture about the evils of Cerberus, especially not at this early in the morning.

The docking process went smoothly, as Shepard knew it would. Joker wasn't just skilled, he had raw talent other pilots would give their first born for. "Don't have too much fun, Commander," Joker called after her as she and her squad left for the docking bay.

They stepped off of the Normandy and into Ilium's docking bay. The place was elegant and sweeping, strongly asari in architecture. It was an impressive place, from what they could see just yet. As they walked, an asari, trailed by two security mechs greeted them with a warm smile.

"Welcome to Nos Astra, Commander Shepard. We've been instructed to waive all docking and administration fees for your visit. My name is Karina. If you need information about the area, it would be my pleasure to assist you," she explained to the Commander cheerfully, acting as if the formerly dead Commander was expected to be there.

Shepard blinked in surprise at the cordial welcome. As far as she knew, no one else knew that she was headed here to Ilium. And she didn't know anyone here, either. "Who instructed you to waive the fees?" Shepard asked the asari, peering at her questioningly, suspicion creeping into the back of her mind.

"The order came from Liara T'Soni, who paid all fees on your behalf." Karina activated her omi tool, dismissing the mechs from her side. "She also asked that I direct you to speak with her at your convenience. She's near the trading floor."

Shepard felt her stomach flip a little at the thought of finding her old friend here, though relief surged through her as well. This was a more than welcome surprise at a time when such things were few and far between. With all the chaos going on, being able to find her friend was a welcome diversion. "Liara's here? What's she doing?" Shepard couldn't imagine what the gentle archeologist was doing on such a world.

"Liara is one of Nos Astra's most respected information brokers. Nos Astra is based upon trade. Information is valuable currency and Liara has done quite well. As I said, you'll find her near the trading floor. She was looking forward to seeing you."

For a moment all Shepard could think about was the possibility of reuniting with her friend, and she smiled slightly. She was however puzzled that Liara hadn't contacted her prior to her coming to Ilium. She had left Shepard no mail, no vidcalls, nothing. Perhaps she was just busy, as Shepard herself was. There hadn't exactly been time to tell everyone about her return from the dead, as Kaidan was quick to harp on. Shepard sighed inwardly.

"I'm on a mission. Can you help me find someone?" she asked Karina. She was there for a reason, and she had to get back to it. There wasn't any time to waste. Every second that passed meant another human colony lost somewhere in the Terminus.

"I can help you find major entertainment centers or stores, but I'm afraid that I can't point you to individual people. Liara is excellent at that type of work, however. I imagine she can help you," the asari cheerfully pointed out.

Shepard nodded at the concierge. Not that she needed any more of a reason to visit her old friend. "Thank you."

Karina nodded and smiled at the Commander. "Again, welcome to our city, Commander. Please enjoy your stay." With that she turned and left Shepard and her squad to pursue their own agendas.

As they headed to the trading floor, EDI updated them with information on the dossiers, most of which Shepard already knew but she humored the A.I. "Customs records indicate a Justicar named Samara is visiting this port, Shepard. Your former teammate Liara T'Soni may have more information. You may wish to speak with her regarding the whereabouts of Thane Krios, the assassin on your dossier, as well," the AI informed her. _Good to know_, Shepard thought. EDI was usually helpful, but occasionally the Commander found the A.I irritating, with her penchant for overabundant information. Mostly, she wanted to talk to Liara before anything else. Two years had passed. Would the asarifeel that she'd changed, like Kaidan did? Well, there was only one way to find out.

Motioning for Garrus and Miranda to follow her, Shepard mounted the stairs that would take them to Liara's office. Liara's assistant, another asari, smiled at them as the passed, looking up from her work only briefly as they passed her. They walked into the office and found Liara standing near the window and currently engaged in conversation with a human man via vid call.

"Have you faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have. I'll make it simple: either you pay me, or I flay you alive... with my mind," Liara threatened the man in the vid. Her tone held a cold, hard edge to it that was surprising to Shepard. Letting the threat hang, she ended the connection and Shepard chose that moment to make her presence known. She crossed to the asari. Hearing footsteps, Liara turned. Her mouth dropped open in surprise and recognition.

"Shepard! Nyxeris, hold my calls."

With a sigh, Liara embraced Shepard tightly, nearly clinging to the human. "Shepard," she whispered. They held each other for what seemed an eternity, before Liara reluctantly pulled away from her friend. "My sources said you were alive. But I never believed... It's very good to see you."

Shepard smiled, her green eyes flashing with mirth. "You have sources now?" There was a hint of amusement in the Commander's voice. Liara smiled so hard she thought her face would break. Goddess, how she'd missed Shepard.

"A few." She turned to look out at the window overlooking the trading floor. People were busy buying, selling and haggling, completely and blissfully unaware of the dangers lurking out there, in the shadows of space. "Sources, contacts, even a little hired muscle. I've been working as an information broker. It's paid the bills since you.. well... for the past two years." She couldn't bring herself to say the words _your death_. Those were unpleasant memories best left to lie dormant. For both of them. Liara sat at her desk and looked up at the Commander as she seated herself opposite the asari. "And now you're back, gunning for the Collectors with Cerberus," the asari stated simply. The information had not come cheaply, and at first, Liara hadn't been able to truly believe it. Shepard, alive? She had scarcely dared to hope. Now... now she saw the woman in front of her. Even with the danger of the Collectors, knowing Shepard was alive made everything worth it. The heartache and danger.. it had all been worth it. The proof was here in front of her.

Shepard's expression changed to one of mild surprise and admiration. "That's not exactly public knowledge," she told her friend, wondering just where the information had come from, and who had supplied it.

"Neither is you being alive, Shepard. Information is my business now. And if you need information on finding people, I'm happy to help."

Ah. Now that she could use. She trusted Liara, and the asari was obviously _very_ good at her work. Shepard leaned her arms on Liara's desk, getting down to business. "There's an asari named Samara here on Ilium. Do you know where I can find her?" she asked her friend.

Liara seemed to think for a moment before speaking. "Samara. Yes. She arrived recently and registered with tracking officer Dara. You can find Dara at the transportation hub," she informed Shepard.

The Commander frowned. "Why would Samara have to register with a tracking officer? Is she a criminal?" This hadn't been mentioned in the dossier. Already Shepard was thinking of how that would affect the crew. It was hard enough some days, just keeping Miranda and Jack off of each other. She didn't need more criminal elements aboard.

"No." Liara seemed startled at the question. "In fact she's quite the opposite. Samara is a Justicar, one of an ancient sect of asari warriors. Dara can tell you more."

Shepard nodded, mentally filing the information away for later. She didn't know all that much about asari culture, and she had to speak to the officer anyway. One down, one to go. "I'm looking for Thane Krios. He's supposed to be here on Ilium." It would have helped if his dossier had said why, but Shepard knew things were never that easy, at least not for her or her crew. They got his vitals, and location, but nothing about why he was there, nothing to bargain with.

Liara lifted her head, looking thoughtful for a moment as she called up information from her memory. "The assassin? Yes, he arrived here a few days ago. My sources tell me he may be targeting a corporate executive, Nasanna Dantius. He contacted a woman named Sereyna. Sereyna has an office in the cargo transfer levels. Perhaps she can tell you where Krios is."

Shepard looked impressed. "That was all just off the top of your head?" Liara allowed herself a smug smile before answering her friend. "I'm a very good information broker, Shepard. The world of intrigue isn't much different from a dig site. Except that the dead bodies still smell."

"Thanks for the help, that's all I needed to know." Shepard looked at Liara for a moment, thinking how much her friend had grown since they'd last met. This woman was not the timid archeologist she'd met back on Therum, not anymore. Liara nodded to her.

"Of course.. if there's anything else I can help you with let me know," she offered. Shepard nodded, then cocked her head. She couldn't leave without asking the asari how things were here.

"What about you, Liara? I could use your help on this mission." Liara shook her head sadly. "I can't Shepard. I'm sorry. I have commitments here. Things I need to take care of." Goddess, how she wanted to. Just like two years ago.. saving the galaxy, defying the odds. But she had responsibilities now. Debts. Liara sighed, causing Shepard to look over at her in mild concern. "What kind of things do you need to take care of? Are you in trouble?"

The asari shook her head. "No, no trouble." She rose from her seat behind the desk and gazed out the window as she spoke. "But it's been a long two years. I had things to do while you were gone. I have debts to repay." She turned to face Shepard as a thought came to her. "Listen. If you want to help, I need someone with hacking expertise. someone I can trust." Liara sat down again and faced Shepard. "If you could disable security at key points around Ilium, you could get me information I need. That would help me a great deal."

Shepard gave her old friend a frown. "What's this all about, Liara, can't you just talk to me?" the Commander asked, frustration evident in her voice. Why did it seem that everyone was intent on giving her the run around? "Don't you think I want to, Shepard?" Liara hated hearing the aggravation in her friend's voice. "This isn't because I don't trust you. This is Ilium. Anything I say is probably being recorded." Liara sighed softly. Even with her power, she still had to tread lightly. Lies and intrigue were commonplace here, and no one was immune. "Everyone needs information, Shepard. You want to know why I don't drop everything and join you? I need to get that data. It should be about friendship, or trust, but that's not the way it works on Ilium. Let me know when you hack those terminals. Give me that, and I can talk to you.

Shepard needed only a moment to consider her answer. "If it'll help you, I'll take care of it." she promised her friend. Liara smiled her thanks. "When you hack one, a server will open somewhere nearby for a short time. You can download data from there if you hurry. Thank you Shepard, this may help me pay a great debt." Hope was in here eyes now. A hope that she owed to Shepard. "I'll see you later, Liara," the Commander said, as they embraced.

"Thank you, Shepard."

Finding that no other words needed to be spoken, Shepard smiled, then motioned for her squad to follow her from the office. "Wonder what she needs the data for," Garrus thought aloud as they walked down to the trading floor. "Well, I guess we'll find out," Miranda replied.

Shepard walked the trading floor in contemplative silence, with Miranda and Garrus following along behind her. The terminals would be easy to hack, and she had time later for that. However, the Commander found her mind wandering back to Kaidan. He hadn't gone on this mission, and she could only guess what he was doing on the Normandy now. Probability suggested that he was busy looking through Cerberus files, like Jack had been doing lately. Having not really explored that option herself, a question formed in Shepard's mind. What would he find?

She shook her head, dispelling the distracting thoughts. For now... she had her mission to get back to. They headed off to find Samara, the Justicar, first. From the sound of things, she would only be on Ilium a short time, which meant they needed to find her quickly.. They had to get to her before she left.

"Wonder why Cerberus is interested in her," Garrus mused. Shepard lifted her shoulders in a shrug.

"I guess we'll find out. Liara said to talk to the tracking officer... Dara, it was. Transportation area. She should know where to find her."

They fell silent after that, walking through the throngs of people on the trading floor. Shepard wondered just what Kaidan would find in those databases. Would it help allay his fears, or drive them farther apart? Well, she couldn't dwell on that now. Liara had been happy to see her again, at least. So much had changed in the last two years. Two years that had gone by without her. Two years that had felt like nothing more than two minutes to her. The blink of an eye. One moment, dead, then next.. here.

Entering the transport hub, Shepard saw there were quite a few people, and a couple of shops as well. Merchants and prospective clients talked and haggled, while others chatted. Many asari were perusing the kiosks and making calls, as well as a few turians, volus and salarians. There was a constant motion here. Glancing over to the left, she saw a Krogan reciting what sounded like love poetry while an asari glanced over at him, a conflicted expression on her face. Glancing to the right, the tracking officer, Dara, was in an office looking over a datapad.

"Looks like we've found Dara." Garrus stood just to Shepard's right, looking around the vast area as well, until something caught the turian's eye. "Shepard, look over there... Is that-"

"I've only seen one green asari..." Shepard nodded; memories of Feros and the Thorian surging through her mind. "Shiala."

"Green asari..." Miranda's gaze fell on the asarion a call through her omni tool, and her brows knitted in a frown. "How did that happen?"

"You're familiar with the Thorian?" Shepard leaned against the low wall separating them from the area where the skycabs were parked. "It was a sapient plant-like creature on Feros that we had to kill to save the colony of Zhu's Hope. It was controlling the colonists. Using them as slaves."

"Right. That was where you obtained the Prothean cipher that let you interpret the visions from the beacons on Eden Prime and Virmire." Miranda's quick recall impressed the human Spectre. "You melded with an asari commando to get it..." With only a second's pause, the operative continued. "...and that's the commando."

"Yeah. When we approached the Thorian, it produced clones of her, green ones, and one explained what it did with Saren and the Geth." Garrus nodded as he said this, remembering the encounter. "The other clones were basically thralls to protect the thing while we shot it to hell. When the creature fell, Shiala herself was released, and she explained the whole thing."

"And was she green then?" Miranda watched the commando, who looked like she was growing more and more frustrated.

"No, which is what's bothering me." Shepard stepped away from the low wall and headed for the commando, who was now shaking her head, preparing to end the call. Approaching, she heard Shiala's last words to whoever she was talking to:

"I'll get it done. I know what is at stake; I'm a walking testimony to it."

Ending the call on a sad note, the commando bowed her head in a defeated gesture. Raising it again, her dark eyes landed on the approaching human. "Goddess, it can't be... Shepard?" Standing to face the approaching trio, her movements were slowed, and somewhat forced, Shepard noticed. "I don't suppose you would remember me. I'm Shiala; we met on Feros during the Geth attack. Saren had given me to the Thorian creature as a slave, and you killed it and saved me." At Shepard and Garrus' nod, she continued. "I had promised to help Zhu's Hope recover. I'm actually here on Illium for just that purpose."

"Why? Is it ExoGeni pushing colonists around again, or did the Thorian somehow survive our fight?" Shepard was doubtful of the latter, but the thought of ExoGeni using their colony wasn't too surprising. Remembering her confrontation with Jong in regard to the colony being purged and shut down, she found that scenario unfortunately far too plausible.

"No," Shiala's reassuring tone made Shepard relax slightly. "ExoGeni has been very supportive of Zhu's Hope; they actually seem to want to help us survive... And the Thorian is dead, though after all you went through to kill it, I understand your concern. I fear, after our encounter on Feros, my purpose here will seem mundane by comparison."

"How's Zhu's Hope doing?" General concern for the colony found its way into Shepard's tone. They had left the colony with a decent food supply, power, and their water systems repaired. Most of the colonists had survived, aside from Fai Dan. The image of the man killing himself was still slightly chilling, even years later.

"We've done a lot of rebuilding. We even salvaged some useful material from the Geth ship you destroyed. The ExoGeni researchers got called back to their headquarters, however. Along with what was left of the Thorian," Shiala explained.

"Is there something I can do to help?" Shepard found herself offering.

"I'd appreciate it, if there is; I've reached the limit of my diplomatic abilities, and would prefer to avoid a confrontation." Shiala's eyes hardened as they landed on someone near a terminal, up a small flight of stairs. "Some of the colonists had medical problems as a result of the Thorian's control. We hired a survey group to take some medical scans," Turning her back on them for a brief moment, Shiala cringed, and Shepard saw her entire body tense with what looked like pain. "But the medical contract apparently allows the company to perform invasive procedures without our consent. That's why I'm here."

"What kind of medical problems are they dealing with?" Shepard got the impression that Shiala blamed herself for the invasive tests and procedures, but knowing how contracts were handled, the ones to blame were the companies that wrote them. From how Shiala explained things, the company was twisting the colonists' arms to force them into tests they didn't want or need.

"Headaches and muscle spasms, similar to what they experienced while under Thorian control. Sometimes the colonists, while near another former Thorian victim shared sensations like heat or pain. It has to be the result of trace amounts of the Thorian's parasitic spores. You can see why we would want it studied and, if possible, treated."

"I see." Thinking about the possibilities, Shepard could only imagine what they were dealing with. Seeing the effects of the Thorian's spores while they had still been under it's control, the pain was intense, almost crippling; a lot like what she had just seen in the asari commando before her. "Something's off, though; You were only green when the Thorian used your clones for its thralls. The real you was blue like normal Asari. What happened?"

Shalia's expression changed to one of embarrassment. "Those health problems that were related to Thorian control that I mentioned earlier,? This... is mine. A few months after being released from Thorian control, my skin pigment changed." As she continued, Shiala bowed her head slightly, an unreadable expression on her face. "My... biotics are unstable, and I have also been having vivid dreams about my time with the Thorian. I have also seen fragments of the visions you dealt with from the Prothean beacons. It is... disconcerting."

"Hard to say which is worse, physical or mental pain, I mean." Garrus eyed the commando, having not missed the secondary pain that passed through her.

"Or both; I didn't miss that earlier." Shepard gave Shiala a knowing look, and the commando nodded in response. "How vivid are the visions from the beacons?"

"Very, as are the emotions you felt when seeing them. It does not surprise me that they were difficult to discern." The meaning of Garrus' words festering in her mind, the asari closed her eyes briefly. "The pain is intense but very brief. I feel it for mere seconds, as opposed to the colonists, who feel it for hours. I can live with it, they cannot."

"Tell me more about this contract that was signed." Shepard glanced over to the asari by the terminal above, where Shiala had been looking earlier.

"Baria Frontiers was interested in our situation, and they offered to perform medical scans for next to nothing." Shiala followed Shepard's gaze, starting to pace back and forth in frustration. "I should have known that it was good to be true, but we were desperate. In the fine print, was apparently agreed to let them perform invasive follow-up procedures if they were deemed valuable, which they have."

"Can they actually force these procedures on you?" Shepard sounded skeptical, and part of her sincerely hoped that the answer would be no. There was no need for things like this; According to Corporal Toombs, it had been done before. Remembering his accusations against Cerberus for a moment, Shepard questioned the events on Akuze. If this was true, then the people, the organization that she was 'working for' were responsible for many deaths and a great deal of suffering; just like this survey group was. Shepard gave herself a mental shake, attempting to free herself from the memories and focus on the task, and problem, at hand.

"No..." There was no sign of relief on Shiala's face, which made Shepard frown. "But they can declare us in breach of contract, which means we would be obligated to pay the full price for what it would have cost normally." Shaking her head in defeat, she continued. "Zhu's Hope just got back on its feet, Shepard. We cannot afford such things at this point."

"I'll see what I can do." It was all she could say. Shepard realized that Shiala was willing to deal with her own pain to save others from going through it. Barely hearing Shiala speak again, she had to focus on the asari rather than her thoughts.

"That Baria Frontiers representative is aware of the issue."

"Thanks," was all Shepard said as she turned and headed for the kiosk, where a dark hued asari stood.

Talking to the representative, Erinya, Shepard saw an asari that carried grief as an exoskeleton, and anger like a weapon. Her bondmate had died on Rannoch during the Geth uprising nearly three centuries ago, and her daughters had died in the battle of the Citadel. Shepard had known them both, albeit formally: Saphyria and Nelyna. The former had been a receptionist at the Embassies, and the latter was the greeter for the consort, Sha'ira. Appealing to the representative, Shepard succeeded in getting the contracts revised, though her own heart ached at the tears streaming down the asari's cheeks. She had not intended however, to reopen wounds. The asarihad promised to amend the contract, stating there was already enough grief in the galaxy, and she would not add to it.

Returning to Shiala, Shepard felt a half-hearted sense of accomplishment. On one hand, the painful procedures were to be stopped, and all aid would no be rendered free of charge, but on the other, Erinya relived her loss; her family's deaths like re-opened wounds, because of her. How many lives had been shattered in that battle? How many more would be lost before this was over? The thoughts tumbled around in her mind.

"You did it; I just got the revised contracts. Thank you, Shepard; you've spared Zhu's Hope of senseless pain and suffering." The relief and gratitude in the asari's tone was marred by the painful spasm that ripped through her body. Keeping it from being noticeable, Shiala gritted her teeth for a second. "I don't think I could have... Is it always like this; yesterday's problems lingering in some new form? Is anything ever just _fixed_?"

"You have a chance to make a difference, Shiala. Not everyone does." The two stood close to each other, and Shepard saw more than understanding in the commando's dark eyes.

"You're right." Placing a gentle hand on the Spectre's shoulder, Shiala felt Shepard relax against her. "You gave us a chance by saving the colony. I can't let them down... I won't. I can't thank you enough for what you've done here, Shepard You've saved Zhu's Hope again. I'll keep doing what I can. Maybe some time when I'm not organizing the colony and you're not doing whatever it is you do..." She let the sentence trail off, her hand grazing down Shepard's arm as they drew apart.

Shepard nodded, her gaze catching and holding the asari's for a long moment. Garrus and Miranda sharing a look as they did so. When Shiala left, they both gave Shepard a knowing look. Ignoring it only for a moment, she turned to look back at the terminal that Erinya had been near. It held star charts of the Shrike Abyssal, Hades Nexus, and a few others. They would be very useful in the weeks to come. They needed more resources for various upgrades to the Normandy, after all. Purchasing them, Shepard heard the two asarion the opposite side of the small alcove talking:

"Did you get the star charts?"

"Yeah. I had to deal with Erinya though. Feel like I need a shower."

"What do you expect?"

"I knew her from a few centuries back... I just... Wow."

"And I'm sure she was a pleasure to deal with then..."

Their conversation went on to debate the vitality of the pure-blooded asari versus the ones that bonded with other species. Shepard had heard the term before, and she knew that Liara was one of those 'pure-bloods'. It seemed to be a hurtful term, something akin to human slurs about ethnicity, but then the second asari mentioned something else; that the pure-blooded were responsible for something called the "Ardat-Yakshi". It was plain from the tone of the first asari that she considered pure-bloods dirty, and inferior. However, the conversation was difficult to follow for a non-asari such as she, and Shepard found herself with little need save curiosity to listen further. Having purchased the star charts that were available, she rejoined her squad near Dara's office.

"So Shepard, you and Shiala..." Garrus let the question trail off suggestively as they walked Shepard whipped around to glance at the turian in surprise.

"Really, Garrus? You know Kaidan and I were involved back then." Transferring the star charts to the Normandy via omni tool, Shepard gave the turian a level stare. Kaidan again. God, the night before Ilos... It hurt to remember those good moments they'd shared. Was there any hope he'd understand? She shook it off, forcing herself to smirk at the turian. "Besides, when would I have had time to sneak off to Feros?"

"True." Garrus had a wicked look in his eyes and on his face as he leaned against the wall. "Wait, you said 'besides'."

"_Garrus_." Shepard used a mock-warning tone as she walked away, into the office to see the tracking officer. The asari apparently heard their approach, because she turned in her chair to face them.

"Can I help you with something?"

"I'm looking for an asari warrior named Samara." Shepard stated her business plainly, not beating around the bush. Time was of the essence. Dara seemed to appreciate this, though she seemed concerned.

"Wait, why? Do you have a problem... Did she kill somebody already?" The worry on the tracking officer's face was almost comical, as fast as it appeared, but the panic in her voice was far from amusing. The Commander held up a hand.

"Relax, I just need to speak with her." Shepard saw the relief as it flooded her features.

"Good. Samara is the first Justicar I've seen on Ilium; if I'm lucky, things will stay peaceful." Dara nodded as she checked her terminal. "She went to the Commercial Spaceport a few hours ago. If you want to get there, that pedestal over there will summon a cab." Preparing to turn back to her terminal, Dara thought of something, addressing the Spectre again. "Oh, and be polite when you meet her. Justicars embody the highest laws in asari culture, and they usually stay in asari space. She's not used to dealing with aliens."

"Tell me more about the Justicars." Shepard hadn't seen much in the dossier that the Illusive Man had passed along that really told her about the rare asari. All it said was that she could be found somewhere on Illium. Besides, she was interested now. She found other cultures to be fascinating.

"They're a monastic order; they've given up their family and possessions to follow their code." Dara seemed to be in awe of the elite warriors, but there was something amiss. Fear mixed with admiration. Shepard found out quickly. She could hear it in the officer's voice. "They're usually on some life-long mission, but they'll always stop to deal with any injustice they find, which can be a problem. In some ways, they're a lot like the Spectres, taking on personal missions."

"Spectres are accountable to the Council. Who do the Justicars represent?"

"They're more like a religious order than a legal branch..." Dara looked thoughtful for a moment. "No law-abiding asariwould question a Justicar's orders, and none of them become one for personal gain. They would die before breaking their oaths."

"Is Samara really that dangerous?" The Justicar sounded more like a lethal assassin rather than someone who defended the innocent. And how did she judge who was 'innocent' and who was not? Shepard wasn't sure of what to think at this point, or if recruiting her was a good idea after all. Dara's next words clarified things slightly.

"If you follow the law, you've got nothing to fear, and a Justicar would die without hesitation to protect the innocent. But their code orders them to stop law-breakers, with lethal force in most cases, and everyone skirts the law somehow on Ilium. If someone tried to bribe her, she'd be obliged to gun them down as a matter of honor. I'm hoping to avoid that."

"Why are you so concerned about her coming into contact with other species?" Shepard inquired. It was a big galaxy, after all. Surely some other species would visit asari space and the Justicar would wind up in their vicinity. There was no escaping that.

"If a Justicar kills another asari, none of us questions it, but if she killed a human... Do you think the Alliance would understand and honor her judgment? You can't even figure out your own religions! It's a big diplomatic incident we're hoping to avoid." Dara sounded almost exasperated at this point.

Sensing that she'd gleaned whatever information she could, Shepard decided it was time to depart. "Thank you for your time." Shepard turned to leave, Dara nodding and returning to her work. Stepping back out, the Spectre nodded to Garrus and Miranda, motioning toward the pedestal that would take them to the commercial spaceport.

* * *

The ride to the spaceport was quiet. Choosing to keep her current team, Shepard sat back and watched as the cab started its ascent and eventually landed at the port. Something was going on, seeing as a volus was being flanked by turian bodyguards. The entire atmosphere was tense. Stepping out of the skycab, the three overheard the conversation that the volus in question obviously didn't want to have.

"Where do you think you're going?" An asari in uniform, most likely police, approached the volus as he tried to leave.

"I'm taking my goods to Omega, detective."

"You're not going anywhere, merchant, until I solve this murder." Suspicions proven, Shepard watched the asaristraighten, and her tone harden as she spoke.

"I had nothing to do with that. It's those mercenaries that you can't seem to get rid of." The volus looked up, and if he held an expression, it would have been desperate. His voice easily reflected it.

"The victim was your business partner and I'm not ruling you out. I'll let you know when you can leave." There was a sharpness in the detective's voice, one that brooked no argument.

"What about that Justicar that just showed up?" Shepard frowned at the mention of the woman she was looking for. "Everyone says she might go crazy and start killing... I need to leave."

"She'll only kill the _unjust_, so I'm sure you have nothing to worry about, Pitne For." The sarcasm in the detective's tone was chilling. Hardened by the job, she didn't bother showing any hint of sympathy for the volus. Looking toward a few other officers who stood nearby, she addressed them. "Find me in the station if you need me."

On approach, the turians raised their weapons momentarily, but when they saw that the newcomers were packing heavier weapons, they thought better of it. When the volus, Pitne For turned, Shepard saw slight surprise in his eyes. Unfortunately, their own conversation didn't produce many details. Hearing that his business partner, Dakne Kur was killed in a back ally and that an asari Justicar had shown up, she began to wonder just what Samara was after. It couldn't have anything to do with this petty merchant, though he was acting shifty and nervous by her presence. Following the volus' advice, Shepard bypassed him and his bodyguards, heading for the police station to the left. Upon entry, they spotted the same purple-hued asari looking over a report as she returned to her desk. Approaching, Shepard saw her look up, eyes roving over them suspiciously.

"Nice guns, try not to use them in my district." The slight sarcasm was tainted by a warning note in her voice. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm looking for an asari warrior named Samara." Shepard took the seat opposite the asari, hoping that this woman would have a better idea of why the Justicar was here and where she was.

"If you've got a score to settle with Samara, take it somewhere else. I've got enough trouble here already."The detective didn't even seem surprised at the mention of the Justicar.

"I need to recruit her for my mission. Once that's done, we'll be on our way." Shepard could relate to the exhaustion in the other woman's voice and posture as she replaced the datapad she'd been reading off of onto her desk with a soft thud.

"Justicars usually work alone..." Frowning in thought, the asari nodded more to herself than to Shepard. "But they _are_ drawn to impossible causes."

"She'll like our mission then." Miranda said this with an air of amusement; Garrus chucked in response. They definitely had that covered. And then some.

"If you're getting her out of my district, I'll get you to her ASAP. She's at the crime scene."

"You're letting her into a sealed crime scene?" Remembering enough from the police she had encountered in her travels, Shepard knew that this was a bit strange. Evidence could be tainted, the chain of custody compromised. They had to have a very good reason to allow her in there.

"I'm a cop; I'll work with the Justicar as long as I can. Besides, she's been looking at crime scenes longer than our two lifespans combined. She knows how to handle herself."

"You're awfully anxious to get Samara out of your district." The bluntness of the statement seemed to be appreciated by the asari. Lips upturned slightly, she nodded to another who was passing her desk.

"Anaya, I'm headed out. Got a body down in the lower level. They suspect Eclipse." There was a tiredness in the other's voice.

"Doesn't end, does it?" At the shake of the other asari's head, Anaya sighed. "Damned mercs. Keep me posted." When the other nodded in response, the detective turned back to Shepard. "My bosses want me to detain her. They're worried she'll cause some sort of "cross-species incident", but her Justicar code won't let her be taken into custody. If I try it, she'll have to kill me; I have no interest in dying, so if you can lure her away with some big, noble cause before I have to carry out my orders, I'm thrilled to help you."

"Samara would kill a cop?" Shaking her head, Shepard's concern grew. "That doesn't sound very just."

"Oh, she'd die defending an honest cop, but she'd fight an army of dirty ones to the death." The detective sounded as if she greatly respected the woman for her choices, but there was that hesitation. Again the tiny razor of fear amidst the wonder. "I admire her dedication, but her presence is still a big problem. I need her gone before I have to carry out my orders."

"Your superiors are sending you to certain death for no good reason. You have a right to disobey." Shepard found herself telling the asari, almost guessing the response from the pair behind her and waiting for the inevitable snark.

"Let's remember that the next time Shepard sends us off facing impossible odds." Miranda crossed her arms with a mock-serious expression and cocked her head at Garrus.

"That's around... twice a day, I figure." Garrus went with it, but his laughter gave away his amusement.

"Most of the time I'm not being stupid about it. Can't say the same for Anaya's superiors." Shepard rolled her eyes, thinking on a quip for that later.

"I'm a cop and I know my duty. I've been asked to detain her and I will... unless I can get her to leave my district first."

"How do I get to that crime scene you mentioned?" Shepard thought she'd seen something to the right of the station, heading for the back alleys, but she wasn't completely sure.

"It's around the corner; go outside and take a left. Look for the police line; I'll send word for them to let you in." As an afterthought, Anaya gave Shepard a slightly serious look. "And be careful. Eclipse mercs have been crawling all over those back alleys lately."

Considering going for the alleys, Shepard found herself wanting to know more about these warriors that the asari people both respected and feared. "What else do you know about Justicars?" she asked the detective. Maybe Anaya could shed a little light on the subject. Shepard didn't feel comfortable recruiting someone such as Samara without knowing as much as she could about the order she'd given everything to join first.

"They're a kind of..." Anaya paused, thinking of the right comparison. "Humans might call them "Warrior Monks". They live by a complex code that compels them to punish the wicked and protect the pure. They've been a part of asari culture for millennia. I read adventure stories about them when I was a child."

"People seem unnerved by Samara's presence," Shepard observed.

"asari admire Justicars, but we also know that they will kill without mercy when they find corruption... and they never leave asari space. Why is she here?" Allowing herself a short laugh, Anaya continued. "I doubt it's to investigate the murder of some corrupt volus."

"What do you think of Samara herself?" This was the real question. Shepard had heard the pros and cons of the Justicar's presence, but she wasn't quite sure what to make of the person behind the title.

"She's been a Justicar for more than three of your lifespans." A thoughtful expression crossed the detective's face, but it seemed tainted by sorrow or something else altogether indiscernible. It was unclear. "Whoever she was before she swore that oath... That person is dead."

"You mentioned a crime scene? What's going on with that volus, Pitne For? Seems shifty." Shepard doubted that the Justicar was there to investigate Dakni Kur's death as well, but there had to be a reason she was investigating where Eclipse was involved.

"A volus merchant was murdered in a back alley." Standing, the detective turned and looked out past the low wall behind her desk. It gave a view of the entryway to the precinct and the spaceport beyond. "It was a professional hit, so we're not dealing with some junkies wanting to score..." Turning back to face Shepard, she leaned against the wall. "Probably the Eclipse mercenary band; can't prove it, but if the other volus was dirty too, this could have just been a deal gone bad."

"What am I dealing with here? Anything I should know about them specifically?" Knowing she was probably walking into a rat's nest of mercs, having any advantage would be useful. If they were anything like the Eclipse she had dealt with on Omega during her search for "Archangel", she knew they had a thing for mechs.

"The Eclipse are professional killers. They deal red sand, trade illegal weapons tech, and smuggle criminals off-world. They control the back alleys around here; haven't been able to smoke them out of their nest yet, though." Anaya sounded frustrated at the thought, which Shepard could well understand. If they were anything like the other mercs, it was blood in, blood out. That meant there was hardly a chance of a mole being placed in their ranks.

"Got it. Thanks for the information." Rising from her place, Shepard nodded to the two behind her and headed for the entrance to the precinct. She heard Anaya's words as she rounded the corner:

"Good luck."

Exiting the station, Shepard turned to the left, spotting the police line she thought she had seen earlier. Upon approach, the asari guarding the entrance to the alleyway stepped aside. They flanked it, one speaking directly to the approaching human.

"Anaya sent word to let you through. Be careful. Eclipse are all over the place back here. We're waiting for backup to arrive."

Entering the darker portion of the spaceport, Shepard saw something from the corner of her eye. There was a datapad to her right. Examining it, she saw that it was regarding shipments to a "Thax". Looking over the data, she remembered hearing an asarion a call in the transport hub mentioning cheating this "Thax" out of something. Deciding to send the data along to whoever it was, she pressed on. The initial stretch was not well lit, but when Shepard rounded the corner, she heard someone giving an order, and raised a hand, motioning for Garrus and Miranda to find cover. Edging her way around the corner, she saw an eclipse merc motioning toward something.

"Get the rest of Bravo squad prepped! Alpha squad went after that Justicar twenty minutes ago and they've gone dark!"

Nodding, Shepard watched as Miranda and Garrus took their positions at the head of the alley. Moving forward around the corner, she crouched behind a large shipping crate, arming herself with her window sniper rifle as she went. Seeing Garrus' mantis sniper rifle and Miranda's Locust, she cast a wary eye ahead. The mercs were tense, armed, and some of them were maintaining moderate to heavy barriers. The ones that weren't were easy targets. Shepard slid forward and took aim. She fired, and saw her target drop from a perfectly placed headshot. Quickly switching to her battle rifle in the ensuing chaos, she and Miranda took out the lesser armed ones with biotic attacks, while Garrus fired pot shots at the ones with barriers. With only two left, Shepard watched as one barrier fell. Slamming the asari with her biotics, she fired three shots in rapid succession; two to the chest and one to the head. Garrus took out the remaining one, deploying a concussive shot followed by a projectile to the chest. When they were clear, the three disarmed and headed down the alleyway, seeing another police line ahead. This one had no officers to guard it, and beyond it was a door. Opening it, Shepard wasn't prepared for what she saw next.

The area was even worse as far as lighting went. Dark corners had her on edge, but it didn't seem as if there were any mercs in the immediate vicinity as they approached. No gunfire sounded as they stepped inside, at least. When the trio cleared the entryway, they heard someone shouting, followed by the sight of a merc flying across the room. The dark-skinned asari fell hard, her body colliding with a wall before making contact with the floor. The sub-machine gun she had clattered to the ground, free of her lifeless hand, The impact had caused Garrus to step back, the asari not being a foot from him. Hearing another voice, Shepard looked up. It held desperation and slight fear.

"Those were my best troops..." Another Eclipse merc stood, her back to Shepard on a landing above. Hearing another voice, Shepard looked around, and she spotted the assailant. It was another asari; this one looked older, but that did nothing to slow her reflexes or her skills. She moved like liquid, graceful, deadly.

"Tell me what I need to know, and I will be gone from here." The even tones of the elder asari's voice made Shepard frown. It wasn't what she expected. Black, red and gold armor glinted as she circled the merc. It wasn't a casual stride either. This was the movement of a predator. Sure. Swift. Fluid. Biotics actively glowing around her, the asaril ooked over her shoulder with nothing less than finality in her eyes.

"You think I'd betray her? She would hurt me in ways you can't even imagine!" The younger asari straightened up, drawing her pistol as she went. Her composure had failed and she now backed up in sheer desperation.

"The name of the ship; your life hangs on the answer, Lieutenant." It was almost casual, the way she said it. The cool, stern tone was enough to make Shepard raise her eyebrows. She could hear Garrus shift beside her. On the other side, Miranda looked quite impressed when Shepard directed her eyes toward the prodigal.

"You can kill me, but one of us will take you down, Justicar!" So this was the one. Shepard watched the elder asari's eyes, trained on the merc's gun, as it was pointed at her. With a swift move, she created a biotic field, lifting the merc into the air. The pistol fell straight down, and the younger asari's eyes widened in fear. The Justicar jerked her arm back, pivoting as she went. This sent the eclipse merc flying through the air. She landed on the ground, several feet from Shepard's position. Looking up again, she saw the elder asari approach the ledge, biotics flaring again, and she propelled herself down. The Spectre had to marvel at her skill and control. When she crossed the room, she stood over the merc, who had started backing off, scooting backwards on her hands; she knew she had lost. It was hard to see, but Shepard swore the Justicar had her boot on the younger asari's throat. It sounded like it when she responded to the elder's demands.

"What was the name of the ship she left on?"

"Go to Hell..." was the merc's raspy answer. A grim look of acceptance passed over the Justicar's face as she stared down at the young eclipse merc, but it didn't deter her from her actions.

"Find peace in the embrace of the Goddess." The sound of a strangled cry met Shepard's ears, and as she watched, the Justicar bowed her head; eyes closed as she stood over the merc's now lifeless body. This didn't last long however, because Samara straightened up after a few moments. Turning, her eyes widened slightly as they landed on the new arrivals, sizing them up quickly. Her tone changed from one of cool control to something akin to casual. "My name is Samara, a servant of the Justicar Code. My quarrel is with these Eclipse sisters, but I see three well-armed people before me." Having looked over Garrus and Miranda, her piercing eyes now landed on Shepard. "Are we friend or foe?"

"I'm Commander Shepard, and I need your help on a critical mission, Samara." Shepard tested her luck with the asari. Icy eyes searching her own green ones for a truth that had not been spoken, the Justicar spoke again, her tone slightly lighter.

"You honor me, but I am in the middle of an investigation."

"I need you to help me take down the Collectors." That got her attention. Lips slightly curving upward, Samara nodded.

"The Collectors are a worthy foe. I would relish testing myself against them, but I seek an incredibly dangerous fugitive." Holding the human's gaze for a few seconds longer, the Justicar turned, looking back in the direction of the dead eclipse mercenary. "I cornered her here, but the Eclipse sisters smuggled her off-world. I must find the name of the ship she left on before the trail goes cold."

"I wish you were willing to go with the human, Justicar."

Both Shepard and Samara turned in unison; their eyes landed on the approaching asari. Detective Anaya emerged from the shadows alone. "I've been ordered to take you into custody if you won't leave."

"You risk a great deal by following your orders, detective." At first it didn't sound like this was going to have a very good resolution, but Shepard waited, watching the two asari. "Fortunately, I will not have to resist. My code obligates me to cooperate with you for one day. After that, I must return to my investigation."

"I won't be able to release you that soon." Anaya held the elder asari's gaze, her tone grim.

"You won't be able to stop me." The finality in her tone suggested that the code would force her to fight her way out, whether she wished it or not. Shepard thought quickly, searching for a solution.

"There has to be some way that we can all resolve this," The Commander thought aloud.

"I see a way." Samara looked deep in thought for a moment, and Shepard realized that they had been thinking along the same lines. "While I am in custody, if you found the name of that ship, I could join you. Then, the code would be satisfied."

"Just what I was thinking." Hearing more about this code, Shepard was growing more curious to know of its limitations and its exact purpose. To punish the wicked and protect the pure seemed too straight forward enough. "Can you tell me more about Justicars and the code that you're sworn to? It seems rather strict from an outsider's perspective."

"The Order consists of those who have foresworn family, children, and worldly possessions; aside from some weapons and armor. We travel asari space; righting wrongs as defined by the ancient code which we have all memorized."

"Ilium may be dominated by asari, but it isn't in asari space." Shepard had thought of this since Dara had mentioned that the Justicars rarely left their own 'territory'. "Does your code have any restrictions in regard to that sort of thing?"

"Though it is rare for one of us to leave asari space, I must follow my oath. My quarry fled to this world and I am sworn to hunt her down; I will follow wherever she goes. If I suffer for my choice, I will accept that. One fact that has proven itself true over the centuries is that though the expedient path is fast and simple, it is not always the correct one." Though her tone was even and almost smooth, Shepard could hear a subtle drive behind her words, and she found herself admiring it. This was not a woman of weak will.

"Are you all right with walking away from your investigation at this time?" The choice of words was more or less out of restraint. Upon first meeting, it wasn't wise to speak frankly.

"If I remain here, I will be compelled to kill many innocents to escape incarceration."

"Like me." Anaya's words, though simple, were a reminder of just whose lives were on the line.

"I may be killed and my quarry could be free to resume killing, but if I come with you and survive your mission, I can return to my investigation. To do that, I will need the ship she left on to track her to her next location. It is a simple choice."

"That seems logical." Miranda spoke for the first time, having simply observed during this conversation. "Do you have any leads so far?"

"The volus merchant, Pitne For, is tied to this. Eclipse mercs are preparing to kill him." Stepping forward, Samara joined the detective, who stood a few paces back. "Get the truth out of him. He may know a way into the Eclipse base."

"I should get back to my station, and I suppose you'd best come with me." Anaya watched the Justicar's every move, and Shepard got the impression of someone watching a dangerous predator, waiting for it to strike. When Samara nodded curtly, the detective turned on her heel, walking back through the back alley. Samara turned back to Shepard, blue eyes locking on the human's green ones.

"Thank you, Shepard. There has been a great deal of killing here, and I would rather not add to it if it is not needed." When she went to follow the detective out, Shepard hung back for a moment, giving the turian and human with her a thoughtful look.

"Impressions?"

"What little I've heard of Justicars as a whole is impressive." Miranda spoke first, lowering her head in thought. "Samara herself... She goes beyond that. Her demeanor suggested precision, a cold personality, and above all, emotionally detached." Dark blue eyes landed on Shepard again. "That is something we may really need on this mission."

"I got that she was dedicated, meticulous, and calculated." Garrus spoke almost in awe. "We'll definitely need someone like that."

"Good. That was what I got, too." Shepard had seen all of that and more in the Justicar. She seemed cold and dedicated, yes, but there was something else, something buried within. Shepard couldn't put a finger on it, but it was there. Something about this investigation seemed "personal" to the asari. Putting it aside for later, she turned to the alleyway. "Let's get the truth out of Pitne For. I had a feeling he was holding back earlier," Shepard murmured.

"Good." Garrus followed with Miranda just behind him. "Maybe letting it slip that Eclipse is after him and that the "crazy Justicar" is just around the corner will loosen his tongue a bit," the turian suggested.

"You're not suggesting we frighten the poor idiot are you?" Miranda's sarcasm was enough to cause Shepard to laugh darkly. Garrus answered quickly, trying to hide his amusement.

"Me? Of course not..."

Shaking her head, Shepard moved through the police line that was now flanked by two asari. Moving through the alleyways, she found her mind wandering back to the trading floor and the docks beyond. What was Liara doing now? What was Kaidan doing?


	4. Chapter 4 - An Oath and A Betrayal

With all the movement and nightlife just beyond the docks, Nos Astra was the exact opposite of the ship currently docked in its port. The Normandy stood quiet, those still aboard were confined to their own interests. The only ones out in the open were Yeoman Chambers and the crewmen working in the CIC. This didn't suit Kaidan though. His search through Cerberus files hadn't amounted to much, and EDI had been very little help with her AI shackles. He hadn't been able to find much on Shepard, and had abandoned the search for the moment. Finding himself on the crew deck, the Staff Commander stood just outside of the medbay. Looking across the way, he spotted what used to be Shepard's quarters on the SR1. Now they belonged to the XO, Miranda Lawson.

The Cerberus operative had left, along with Garrus, to assist Shepard in finding the two possible recruits. From what Kaidan had read, the dossiers were impressive; even if they were limited. Samara was a seasoned warrior who had followed a complex and strict code for centuries. Thane was a skilled drell assassin who had never been caught. He had been taking jobs for various people for years. No one ever saw him coming, and no one was alive to see him leave. Shepard had been gone for at least two hours, if not more, and Kaidan had occupied his time by sifting through low-level clearance files. Nothing really interesting had popped up in his searches, however. Eyeing the XO's office now, he wanted more information; on Cerberus, the mission, and on Shepard herself. The barracks were too exposed for him to research his particular topics; someone could walk in on him, and there would be the possibility of questions. Besides.. Miranda's terminal likely had absolutely no restrictions. And he wanted information on the Commander that would likely only be found there. Mind made up, he strode across the mess, avoiding the curious gaze of Rupert Gardner. If he couldn't get information from EDI, perhaps Lawson's terminal would hold some answers.

Entering the operative's quarters, Kaidan looked around; the place appeared rather sterile, almost like when Shepard had occupied this space on the SR1. She hadn't believed in too much personalization, and clearly Miranda didn't either. Everything was Spartan and utilitarian. Meant for work, not pleasure. Eying the bed, he found himself staring into the darkness. The brightly lit room faded away, replaced now by one barely lit by a terminal to the right of the bed and a single lamp. She had been sitting there looking over something when he had entered, and Kaidan could hear the conversation as if it were being said just at his ear.

_"__Commander."_

_"__You probably shouldn't call me that." The slightly amused note in her voice was only ruined by the seriousness of her expression. Letting out a bitter laugh, she continued. "Hell, I probably shouldn't even be wearing this uniform."_

_"__Yeah, funny thing…" He had seen her like this before; Shepard used sarcasm and feigned amusement to mask her frustration. It had happened just after Ashley's death and again when Udina had gone behind her back to ground the Normandy. Now, he was seeing it again, but this time was different; this time, he could see through it. "We broke our oaths to the Alliance to keep it. What happens if this doesn't work out, Shepard?" Crossing his arms, Kaidan looked her over. Shepard stood there as she always did; straight-backed, muscles tensed, but there was something amiss. Her eyes didn't hold that usual spark that they always had. Normally, there was a fire burning beneath them, and he admittedly enjoyed gazing into it. In truth, he hated the words that were coming out of his mouth now. They would only add more stress. "We've mutinied, stolen a prototype warship, and if they wanted to get technical they could add kidnapping… Hell of an example of humanity's best and brightest, huh?"_

_"__I keep reminding myself that we're doing the right thing. I don't believe me yet…" She scoffed, shaking her head at the thought._

_"__Well, if I didn't think you were doing the right thing, I wouldn't be here."_

Those words echoed through the room, amplified in his head, and they held a hollow note now. Looking around again, he saw no trace of Shepard in this room. He really saw no trace of anyone, save for the Cerberus emblem on the wall and the terminal's display glowing orange before him. Remembering what he was originally there to do, Kaidan rounded the desk. Sitting down, he accessed the terminal, using the holo keyboard to input the various searches he had tried earlier. Stumbling across something familiar, he paused to read it. The reports mentioned Thorian creepers and Rachni as well as husks. Having encountered them with Shepard during their pursuit of Saren and Sovereign, he thought nothing of it. There was probably more to learn from this terminal, but it wasn't the main reason he was there. Only when he found information on a planet called Pragia did he stop completely.

The first report filed suggested that a facility was opened on that planet, the Telton Facility, and it was run by Cerberus. Reports were sent directly to the Illusive Man himself, and from the brief summaries, they were vague. As he read on, his hatred for Cerberus grew to a level he never thought possible. Experiments, most too horrific to fathom, preformed on countless children. Children! Kaidan's blood boiled at the cold, unfeeling reports. Another subject lost here, two more from this experiment, five from that experiment. It was as if they were nothing more than animals. Lab rats. It seemed that "Subject Zero" as Jack was known in the reports, was being used to study and possibly augment biotic potential in humans. The further down it went however, the worse off it became. There were mentions of the children being brought to the facility; either by Batarian raiders, slavers, kidnappers, or those that were throw-aways that no one wanted, no one cared about. The ones that wouldn't be missed. They were isolated, exposed to extreme temperatures and elements, pumped full of drugs, and then pitted against each other. Kaidan had to stop reading when he saw some of the images that followed the reports. Some of the kids, ranging from ages nine to eighteen, looked as if they had been starved and beaten – and worse. Emaciated, they stood with the clothing hanging off their frames. Eyes were blackened, bodies bruised, and expressions vacant. Hollow. These children didn't resemble the convict, Jack, however. Searching, he found what looked to be a communication transcript from a doctor and two people. Reading over it, Kaidan was sickened.

The transcript detailed a doctor speaking to a woman. This woman had apparently brought her daughter to a medical center, and it seemed the girl had been accidentally exposed to Element Zero while in the womb. This doctor explained that the injuries were overwhelming, and that the woman's daughter hadn't made it through surgery. Grieving, the woman questioned this information, demanding to see her daughter. When the doctor refused, the woman broke down, and after composing herself to a certain degree, she had no choice but to accept the doctor's ruling. Only after she left did the doctor contact a third person; this man was from the Telton facility on Pragia. The doctor reported that the mother was gone and that the little girl was a very promising subject. The girl was taken from Eden Prime within the next few days, and there was no further mention of the mother or Jack's wareabouts until she resurfaced at the Telton facility.

The last statements before the facility went dark detailed children being tested and conditioned to see if anything would improve their biotic abilities. This conditioning could mean anything from psychotropic drugs, ice baths, physical abuse, and so on. When there were positive results, whatever had worked would be applied to "Subject Zero", and anything that didn't would be scrapped. There were also casualty reports showing countless deaths of other subjects. Some were due to fights with other "expendable" subjects, while there were those that were associated with Jack herself. The last hours of activity in the facility depicted a massive riot; children were breaking free, using their biotics to stop or incapacitate the guards. Only when the facility went to yellow alert did Jack herself break loose. Kaidan blinked as he saw the last fleeting seconds of footage from one of the rear security cameras. It showed a blur of blue, biotics, he assumed, and then an explosion. Two guards were sent crashing into the walls, their bodies crumbling. A young woman, assumed to be in her teens, emerged, biotics pulsing, and then she headed right for the door that the camera was mounted on. The remaining footage was lost in static.

Leaning back in the chair, Kaidan didn't know how to take all of this in. Here was a facility, funded quite generously by Cerberus, where horrific experiments were being inflicted on children. It was all in the name of humanity, but that didn't sit well with him. These people had lost their humanity, their souls, when they agreed to run this facility. They had lost everything when the biotics had rebelled and turned on their oppressors. Though it was nowhere near as severe, Kaidan could remember the group that had rebelled and captured the lead chair of the biotics division during their investigation into Saren's whereabouts. They were a group of L2s that had experienced the more… unpleasant… side effects of the implants, far worse than just the migraines he himself had, and they had asked for more research and consideration for their pain, but they had been ignored. Desperate, they had turned to threats and violence. When they captured Burns, they got everyone's' attention. The same could be said in this case; these kids had had enough and were doing what it took to stop it.

Getting to Jack's file, the Staff Commander realized that most of them didn't make it out regardless. Medical workups showed extensive damage; bones broken again and again, psychological trauma, and the like. There were semi-weekly schedules that showed Jack herself would be beaten, drugged, forced to watch the others beating the hell out of each other, and so on. Sometimes she was pitted against the other children as the guards watched. There was also video footage of her, as a younger child, pounding on the one-way mirror, screaming. Reading her lips, Kaidan felt a stab of pain and unexpected sympathy for the reclusive convict. She had been calling out for help, beating on the glass until her hands and arms showed solid dark purple bruises. She would scream herself hoarse, what little energy she had exhausted. It grew hard to keep his emotions in check as the statements and briefs scrolled through the terminal. Kaidan read how Jack herself was the reason for most of the deaths in the facility on its last day in activity. When she had broken free, some of the children huddled around her while others went to attack her, knowing somehow, all the pain and terror was because of her. Either way, she seemed momentarily confused or detached. When she attacked, she hit them all with her unchained biotics. She didn't hold back, and she showed no mercy. They died in massive numbers, as did the guards. Breaking through doors, tearing down the upper walkways, and forcing her way through the facility's defenses, Jack had made it to the roof. There were evacuation shuttles, and she took one. The very last security footage that the facility recorded before its abandonment was of her shuttle leaving, a flash of blue indicating its drive kicking in.

"How can she work for someone who is responsible for this…" Falling against the back of the chair, Kaidan's eyes closed briefly, pressing a hand to his face. "Is she that desperate for people to believe her that she'd reach out to monsters like this?" Shaking his head, the Staff Commander frowned, staring at the terminal. "There was a time when I would have followed you anywhere, Shepard… Now, I'm not so sure I can even look in your direction." Standing up to leave, he thought of that conversation he'd had here, in the old Normandy, with her before hitting the Mu relay.

_"__It'll really hit the fan when we get to Ilos… If things don't go well, I wanted to let you know… Well, I've enjoyed serving under you." He had wanted to say so much more, but protocol and everything else held him back. The words had been there, at the tip of his tongue, but still he'd been unable to express what he'd felt. Everything that had happened, Jenkins' death, Eden Prime, Ashley's death, and then that quick decision to steal the ship and race to Ilos… It had pulled him closer to her. The attraction that had only grown into something more… _

_"__Kaidan, I don't believe I've had the pleasure of you serving under me. Don't you think It's time to rectify that?" There was a hint of surprise and a sultry command in her tone, as if she thought he should have noticed it by now._

_The thought of fraternization had entered his mind, and for a moment, Kaidan had thought about turning it down, but the truth was that he couldn't find it within himself to do that. He couldn't turn that moment away. He wanted her. He needed her. That fire in her eyes… her confidence… it drew him like a moth to a flame. Kaidan flushed slightly, laughing silently at her remark. "I walked right into that, didn't I?" He paused a moment, looking thoughtful. "We could get drummed out of the service for fraternization… of course, we'll probably get the firing squad for mutiny." But then he had looked into her green eyes and fallen. Hard. Nothing else had mattered then…_

_"__You know what? You're right… about everything."_

_"__I think of losing you, and I… I can't stand it…"_

* * *

Reminding Pitne For that he didn't have much to gamble with had been easy; the volus merchant had forked over the keycard to get into the Eclipse base without much fuss. It had activated the elevator and granted them access into the base. Once inside, the mechs and mercs had been all over them. Shepard, using her biotics periodically, had cleared a path so that they could catch their breath and reload. While Garrus ejected the thermal clip in his rifle, Miranda raised a hand, motioning to the door behind them.

"Shepard, there's someone here."

"Goddess don't let them find me…."

Ejecting her own thermal clip and replacing it with a fresh one, Shepard readied her pistol as she opened the door. Miranda and Garrus flanked her on either side, but there was nothing to see. Having heard a voice however, Shepard nodded in mock satisfaction, thankful that her squadmates were well versed in play acting. Turning as if she were preparing to leave, she made one step, pivoting on her heel and aiming her gun where she knew the merc would rise. Sure enough, the target laser landed just between her eyes. They widened as the asari struggled to find the words to speak.

"Wait! Please! I didn't fire my weapon once… I only pretended to because the other Eclipse sisters were watching… I didn't really shoot!" The desperation in her voice made Shepard hesitate on pulling the trigger. She could hear Miranda and Garrus tighten their grips on their weapons, though. "I'm not one of them! I'm new… I thought being Elnora the mercenary would be cool, but I didn't know what they were really like…"

"What do they do here that you don't like, Elnora?" The restraint was clear in Shepard's voice as she lowered her weapon, finger sliding off the trigger. In turn, the asari placed her submachine gun on the console to her right. The other two kept their weapons trained on her, however, looking at her and then Shepard.

"I thought we'd be traveling the galaxy, shooting up bad guys, right?" Elnora looked flustered, which didn't quite sit well with Shepard. Something wasn't right about the entire situation, but her policy wasn't to shoot first and ask later. That had been more Wrex's style. "But no… They just deal Red Sand and trade illegal weapons tech…" Pausing for a moment, a look of fear crossed Elnora's face, a slight frown turning her lips down. "They even smuggled an Ardat-Yakshi off world." There was a hint of disgust in the asari's voice.

"A what?" Miranda questioned this, her head tilted slightly sideways in confusion.

"What does 'Ardat-Yakshi' mean?" Shepard clarified the question, which Elnora quickly answered.

"It's an ancient Asari word for something that… I thought was a superstition… until now. It means "Demon of the Night Winds". I didn't think they were real, but then the boss, Wasea, said the scary lady was one."

"What was the name of the ship that she left on?" Quoting Samara's earlier question, Shepard got a different answer from the young asari, one that she admittedly expected.

"Wow, I… I don't know. It was two days ago, and like I said, I'm new…"

"Get out of here, Elnora," Holstering her weapon completely, Shepard continued, "just know this; If you so much as jaywalk I will find you."

"Yes ma'am… Thank you!" Leaving her submachine gun where it lay, Elnora bolted out the door. Garrus cleared his throat as they followed her out, heading the opposite direction.

"Was that wise, Shepard? She could have lied to get out of a pinch."

"Whether she did or not, I didn't have any evidence to the contrary." Heading up the stairs, the Spectre continued. "Besides Garrus, look at our crew; if I'm giving them second chances, I may as well do the same for this kid."

"The ironic part is," Miranda quipped as they prepared for the waves of Eclipse to come, "Elnora's probably older than all three of us."

As they progressed on through the base, Shepard found the identity of the one who gunned down Dakni Kur in the alleyway. It was Elnora. Garrus suggested that they shouldn't have let her go, but in the end it didn't matter now. She was hopefully out of the base, and if so, the police would have apprehended her. There was o time to think much about it though, because they encountered many more mercs, mechs, and a gunship as they advanced through the base. Shepard assumed that would be their last line of defense before they reached the local leader, Wasea. Sure enough, when they reached a locked door, she met a very disoriented volus on the other side. He stood at a terminal, stumbling randomly when his body weight shifted. To his right was a door, likely leading to the answer to Samara's question and Wasea herself. When Shepard approached, it took reaching out and touching the volus to get his attention. Even then, when he turned around, he almost fell over.

"I am a biotic God…" Shepard could easily see something was wrong with the poor fool, and the others seemed to as well. "I think things, and they happen. Fear me, lesser creatures, for I am biotics made flesh!"

"Clearly, you need help." Miranda crossed her arms, looking down on the volus as he swayed where he stood. Garrus nodded in agreement, while Shepard just watched.

"_You_ need help!" The volus pointed an accusing finger toward the three. "You stand before the most powerful biotic ever!" Turning from them, he looked back at the terminal as if there was something interesting displayed on it. "Yes, the asari injecting so many drugs into me was terrifying, but then I began to smell my greatness." At this point, Shepard dropped her head into her rising hand, shaking it hopelessly and trying not to groan. This went unnoticed by the volus, but Garrus snorted with laughter. "They may laugh when I fall over, but they don't know what I know in my head…" Looking back up at Shepard, he continued. "That I know I am amazingly powerful. Fear me!"

"Are you part of Pitne For's trade group?" Garrus had to compose himself a bit before asking this question, and Shepard swore she saw a flicker of a smirk cross Miranda's face. It was gone in an instant, as the woman quickly composed herself.

"When I was mortal, I used to work for Pitne. Poor soul must be terrified that I have not returned."

"He hasn't reported your disappearance." Miranda's cool tone vaporized any hint of amusement that she may have shown earlier. Garrus on the other hand, cleared his throat to keep from laughing. "Probably so his departure won't get delayed."

"Face it; Pitne will choose money over friends every time." Shepard nodded at Garrus' statement, feeling a hint of pity for the volus merchant before her, but then she happened to think back. On their way here, they had come across a manifest from the volus' trade group. They had sold two thousand units of a chemical, Minegen X3, which boosted biotic powers but was a definite risk to the person's health in continued exposure. They had also sold six hundred units of Red Sand to the Eclipse. None of these three had done themselves any favors.

"Bah! I will wreak a just revenge on his people!" Turning to the door, the volus blinked. "But first, the leader of this mercenary band is in the next room. I shall toss Wasea around like a rag doll!"

"Shepard, having this incapacitated volus running around our battlefield could complicate things." Miranda interjected, and Shepard had to agree. He would cause trouble or easily get himself killed. Probably both.

"I will tear her apart! My biotics are unstoppable!"

The Commander rolled her eyes at the statement. "Wasea will tear _you_ apart. You should take a nap, you'll feel better." Dismissing the volus outright, Shepard turned for the door, her green eyes darting back to the drugged fool when he spoke again.

"Are you mad?" Turning, the volus looked to Garrus and Miranda, who weren't very amused anymore. Time was waning and they didn't have any to spare for this. His ranting continued, regardless. "Feasting on her biotic-rich blood will be the last step to my ascension-" He was interrupted when Shepard thumped him on the back of the head, causing him to fall forward easily. When he recovered, he seemed more receptive to sensible input. "But… Great wind… Biotic God…" Turning to Shepard, his tone changed from one of self-assurance to quite insecure. "What was I just saying? I… I'm tired… Yes, you're right, I'll nap… Conquer the universe later…"

"So much for Godhood…" Watching the volus walk off, Miranda turned her attention toward the door. "I'll assume he was right that Wasea is just beyond the door."

"Probably the only thing he really knows." Entering the next room, Shepard crossed the small distance to the next door. When it opened, she spotted her target. The leader of the local Eclipse mercenary band stood looking over a datapad. Instead of the typical yellow and black armor, hers was blue, almost matching her skin tone. Wasea's facial markings were a dark red, similar to those Shepard had seen on some commandoes, including the CO of the Destiny Ascension, Matriarch Lidanya. When she noticed their presence, the asari picked up a glass casually, taking a long sip before speaking.

"Everything's gone to hell since we smuggled that filthy creature off world…" Placing the glass back down, Wasea continued to look at the datapad for a moment longer before her dark blue eyes landed on Shepard in a sideways glance. "First a Justicar shows up, now you… At least I can take pleasure in turning your head into a pulpy mass!"

As she spoke, Wasea's biotics flared, and as she shouted the last threat, she sent a shipping container hurtling through the air toward Shepard and the others. Garrus ducked behind some steel shipping drums and Miranda did the same with a heavy packing container. Shepard dove down, missing the container as it was aimed for her head. She could hear the asari coming from the hum of her biotics and her footsteps in the vast room. That didn't last long however, because there were mercs armed with heavy weapons hot on her flank. They aimed at Garrus and Miranda first, and Shepard directed her squad to take them out before gunning for the Eclipse captain.

"Take them out first! They'll cause more trouble than they're worth!"

Taking pot shots at Wasea while Garrus lined up shots with his rifle for the heavy mercs, Shepard watched as Miranda wore down the captain's barrier with her biotics and a few well-placed tech overloads. Seeing a clear shot at one of the mercs, Shepard lined up a shot with her own rifle. One projectile landed in the man's chest while the other two lodged in his head. Turning her gun back on the asari, Shepard saw her lifting a heavy container from the top of the stairs that led into the next area. Without warning, she hurled it through the air.

"Move!" Vaulting over the low wall she had been behind, Shepard practically threw herself into a corner to avoid the oncoming obstacle. When it slammed into the door behind where she and the others had been, she continued shooting at the asari captain, deploying tech overloads and using heavy warp attacks to continue breaking down her barriers.

"I'll enjoy killing you, the volus, that detective… Everyone that has gotten in my way-" The angry snarl was cut off only when one of Miranda and Shepard's bullets broke through her crumbling barrier. Impacting the asari's armor, which had been distorted by a warp field, Wasea was rendered breathless for a split second, and staggered back. When Garrus fired a few well placed high-impact shots, it broke the barrier. Advancing, Shepard saw the Eclipse captain's eyes dart toward one of the crates containing the toxic Minegen X3 that Pitne For had sold the merc band.

"I wouldn't, if I were you." Knowing that it wasn't going to do any good on its own, Shepard continued, her rifle still trained on the asari. "Pitne For left out the little detail that Minegen would prove toxic to those with a high exposure rate to it."

"So I discovered." The venom in her tone was painfully obvious as Wasea retrieved the heavy shotgun from atop the desk where the datapad sat. "A few of my people died due to exposure. I'll blast the greedy bastard's suit wide open!"

"You'll be lucky if you make it out of here alive." Miranda's icy tone made the asari shake with dark laughter.

"If you're helping the Justicar, you're deep into something terrifying."

"So I hear." Shepard watched as Miranda used the moment of perceived weakness to lift the asari with her biotics and slam her down against the hard ground. The asari rolled, staggering as she gained her feet. "You have no idea what you're doing…" It sounded as if Wasea's figurative fire had been extinguished as she struggled to maintain eye contact with Shepard. "If you pursue her, you deserve whatever hell awaits you."

Sensing she only had one chance, Shepard sighted down on the Asari and pulled the trigger. The three burst shot slammed into Wasea's chest. The asari crumpled to the floor and lay still. Sidestepping the downed captain, Shepard picked up the datapad, reading it, the others looking over her shoulder. "Looks like the Ardat-Yakshi left on the AML Demeter, heading for Omega. I'd say we've got what we need." Shepard waved a hand dismissively, looking back as she crossed the threshold back into the hallway.

"Well, I guess we're done here, then. Samara should be happy about this," Garrus informed Shepard as they exited the base. "Hopefully we can get this done and get on with the other dossier," Miranda remarked. The others murmured agreement.

They found Pitne For standing outside the police precinct. He attempted to bribe Shepard into overlooking his criminal activities, which the Commander flatly refused. Entering the precinct, they headed to Anaya's desk. Samara was sitting cross legged on the ledge behind the detective, a serene expression upon her face. Anaya looked up. "If you've got something that'll encourage the Justicar to leave, I suggest you show it to her," she said dismissively before going back to her paperwork. "I've got the name of the ship. Your fugitive left here two days ago on the AML Demeter." Addressing the Justicar, Shepard saw her eyes widen at the news.

"Shepard, you impress me." Nodding in approval, the asari continued. "You have fulfilled your part of the bargain, and I will fulfill mine." Shifting positions, Samara dropped down from the ledge, looking to the detective, whom she now stood beside. "I am ready to leave immediately If that will satisfy your superiors, detective."

"You're free to go, Justicar. It's been an honor having you in my station." Anaya nodded, relief in her tone. It was replaced by a tinge of humor soon after. "And it's nice you didn't kill me, too…"

"The Eclipse smuggled an Ardat-Yakshi off world. She's who you're really after, isn't she?" Shepard interjected. She'd remembered the mention of this "filthy creature" by the late eclipse captain, and Samara nodded.

"You continue to impress." Samara's expression was one of genuine surprise. Humans didn't usually seem to concern themselves with such details. Closing her eyes briefly, the Justicar held a grave expression as she spoke next. "Yes, I was here tracking the Ardat-Yakshi. She is a dangerous criminal and I will bring her to justice; after you mission, of course."

"The Normandy's docked near the main trading floor." Instantly, Shepard's thoughts went to Kaidan and what he might be getting into. Blinking a moment, she went on. "You say you're ready to leave?" Samara turned her gaze to the Commander and nodded. "I must be sworn to your service so that I am never forced to choose between your orders and the code."

Shepard's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Wow…" Garrus voiced his thoughts, echoing Shepard's. "This code must account for every situation."

"In effect, it does." Samara nodded, her icy eyes landing on the turian before flicking back to Shepard. "By agreeing to follow you Shepard, I am compelled to swear the most difficult of Justicar oaths; the third oath of subsumation."

Looking up to the ceiling, Samara's eyes glowed white with her biotics. As she did, Anaya stood and rounded the desk, standing near Shepard; her expression one of disbelief and interest. With fluid movements, Samara knelt, forehead nearly brushing the knee of her armor. Her words were even, her voice almost tranquil as she spoke.

"By the code, I will serve you, Shepard. Your choices are my choices. Your morals are my morals. Your wishes are my code." Biotics flaring momentarily, she rose, standing and eventually lowering her head again, eyes going back to their normal piercing state.

"I never thought I'd see a Justicar swear an oath like that…" The amazement in Anaya's tone mirrored both Shepard's thoughts and Miranda's expression.

"If you make me do anything truly dishonorable, I may need to kill you once our mission is over." The blunt honesty took Garrus aback, his mandibles flaring slightly, but Shepard nodded solemnly. "I can see that this is an important act for you, Samara. Thank you."

"Truly, the life of a Justicar can get lonely." Eying Miranda and Garrus briefly, the asari continued. "I must admit that I am looking forward to working in the company of honorable heroes. Shall we return to your ship?"

"I need to speak to the detective a moment." Looking to Anaya, Shepard noticed that the detective had already returned to looking over something on her desk.

"Thanks for getting Samara out of my district. Now I can tell my granddaughters about meeting a Justicar, and you've just upped my chances of living long enough to have grandkids." Anaya gave the human a smirk.

"I have proof that Eclipse killed the Volus merchant." Shepard allowed herself a smile at the detective's words. Withdrawing a datapad, she scanned over it with the intent of making sure the recording of Elnora's confession was there.

"Let's see what you've got there…"

When Shepard tossed the datapad onto the desk, Anaya looked over the transcript of the audio file, eyes narrowing as she read through it. "Interesting… But I can't verify it. It would be inadmissible."

"I vouch for Shepard and any evidence she brings forward." The even tones of the Justicar surprised both of them, and upon their glance toward the elder asari, Anaya nodded. "I accept the judgment of the Justicar." Looking back to the Commander, she continued. "Thanks, Shepard. I wasn't sure about trusting a stranger, and a human at that, but you came through. It's a shame this Elnora escaped…" Looking down at the datapad again, a slight smirk eased its way onto her face. "But I'll get her. At least you put her on the run."

"I've also got evidence that Pitne For smuggled in Red Sand and illegal weapons tech." Handing over the shipping manifest, Shepard watched as the detective's dark eyes roved over it. "I'll send in some officers to arrest him and his cohorts." Nodding to a few asari who were standing nearby, Anaya motioned for the door, where Shepard knew Pitne For was still waiting. "This is a big help, Shepard. I can't do much to thank you, but we do have a small discretionary bounty fund."

"No need. The evidence came to me in my own investigation. I'm just thankful that all parties involved finally see that there's no way to escape the long arm of the law."

"An interesting human expression." Anaya watched as the officers paraded the volus and those with him past her desk. Pitne took one moment to look in Shepard's direction, and the human couldn't help but think that under that suit, he was glaring daggers at her. This thought made it hard to suppress a cold laugh.

"I should probably go." Shepard nodded at the reference to her words before. "I've got another person to track down before I leave here." Seeing Anaya's nod, she paused at the asari's next words.

"Be well." As Miranda, Garrus, and Samara headed for the door, Anaya continued in a lower tone. "Value the Justicar. I've never heard of one willing to work with a human before." Shepard nodded solemnly to the detective and wished her well before rejoining the others outside. From there it was a short trip back to the trading floor and soon after that, the docking bay.

* * *

Jacob greeted them as they entered the briefing room. "Welcome aboard, Samara," the man said, stepping forward to shake the Justicar's hand. "Your biotics are impressive. You'll be a great asset to the team," he added.

"High praise from an organizations such as yours," the Justicar replied evenly.

"Where should we put you?" he mused. She turned back to Shepard.

"Somewhere that looks out upon the great empty void," she suggested. Shepard nodded,

"How about the starboard observation deck?" The Justicar seemed very pleased with the arrangement and excused herself. "Dismissed. Miranda, you and Garrus be ready to head out in an hour. We're going to find Thane," Shepard ordered, giving a nod to Miranda and Jacob as she left the room. Kaidan had been nowhere to be found upon their return, and she could only guess what he was doing. Deciding not to obsesses over the matter, the Commander headed to get some coffee. She was tired, and needed to refocus before they headed back out. They still had to track down Thane, after all. Kaidan, whatever he was doing, could wait.

Miranda nodded to the Commander and took the lift to her quarters on deck three. Upon entering, the operative frowned. She didn't recall leaving her chair out, nor her terminal on. She walked around the table, her keen eyes roving over each little detail. Datapads had been moved, her glass of water, still half finished, had been set to the side, and she was fairly certain it wasn't her doing. The question was, who? Jack? Miranda dismissed the thought as soon as it came up. No, the convict never showed anywhere near other people. Besides, Shepard had given her complete access to the ship's files. She could access whatever she wanted from any terminal in the ship.

Miranda hit the comm, "Jacob, I need to see you," Though it wasn't said in her usual commanding tone, she heard the crispness as her words echoed around her empty quarters. Looking over her desk, she frowned instantly. There was something wrong here; something very wrong. Hearing heavy, purposeful footfalls, the operative looked up, seeing the Cerberus soldier entering. His dark eyes landed on her; concern and confusion written all over his face.

"What's up? Is it about the Justicar?" the man asked, frowning slightly. He had no idea why Miranda would call him up to her personal quarters. They had ended long ago.

"Take a look. My desk, my terminal – it's been tampered with while I was away," she stated matter-of-factly. As his eyes left her face to rove over the desk, Miranda was pleased to see the man's eyebrows rising slightly. Eying the shelf that held her collection of datapads, she saw that they hadn't been moved. They were in the same precise order, shape, and position as when she had left. Activating her omni tool, she set it to scan for fingerprints. Moving slowly over her desk, she didn't expect to find any on the holographic interface. That would have been too obvious. Seeing something on the arm of her chair and a row of half smudged prints on her desk to the right of the holo keyboard, she allowed herself a triumphant smirk.

"What've you got?" Having rounded the desk, Jacob looked over Miranda's shoulder, seeing just what she was doing on her omni tool. "Fingerprints? Going old school, are we?"

"If it gets the job done, yes." Uploading the data to her terminal, she started a search through several databases in one frame while looking over the search history in another. Eyebrows rising as she saw what the intruder found, she let out a heavy sigh. "Well, well… Looks like someone went digging for answers about Subject Zero."

"Jack?" Seeing the look Miranda gave him, the soldier continued. "Why would someone go looking for intel on her? She agreed to work with Shepard and that should be enough." Jacob racked his brains, trying to think. Jack herself was content to stay in the sub deck of Engineering, and wouldn't have broken into Miranda's quarters for the information. The thief Kasumi perhaps? No, there was no logical reason for her to snoop around in those files, and nothing to be gained from it.

"Enough for this crew, maybe." Eying the scan as it progressed, Miranda added another database. "It's a good thing that Cerberus has full access to the Systems' Alliance Military database-" She had no sooner said this when the scan stopped; a positive result appearing on her screen. "Well, look what we have here." Her eyes moved up to Jacob, who had rounded the desk again, and was standing in front of her, his back to the door. "Our Alliance guest; Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko."

Jacob shook his head. "But why would he be looking up information on Jack? It makes no sense." He scanned the files before looking back to Miranda. "He can't have been looking for information on Shepard," he mused. Miranda scoffed lightly.

"Even if he was, EDI's databases are sealed. We're some of the very few that has full access to the Lazarus Project information as it is. None of which could be accessed through the terminals here." No one but they had the necessary clearance anyway. Hacking, or attempting to, would have resulted in failure.

"Damn," Jacob sighed. He could understand Alenko's suspicion, having himself served in the Alliance. He'd tried to befriend the Staff Commander, show him what Cerberus really stood for, why he left the Alliance, but the man had rebuffed him each time. Eventually, Jacob had stopped trying and had given Kaidan his space, not without a little disappointment, however. He leveled his gaze at Miranda. "So what's the next move? Did you want to speak to the Staff Commander about it? Or Shepard?"

Miranda shook her head. "No. So far nothing has been breached other than Jack's files. Things are stressful enough without adding to it, but I think we should keep an eye on our guest just in case." Though she didn't show it, Miranda was slightly concerned about the events. What else had Alenko found?

"What could he find that he hasn't already?" Jacob mused thoughtfully. It was a question that Miranda had to almost sneer at. Jacob could seem far too "innocent" sometimes, and it made her want to laugh. Seeing her expression, he questioned further. "What? Something I said?"

"Jacob, you know as well as I do that questions have been raised about Cerberus' involvement in the events on Akuze."

* * *

The crew deck was quiet, save for the two crewmen talking and joking with Rupert Gardner in the mess hall. Kaidan had been meandering around there since his discovery of the files on Jack, and he couldn't really decide what to do with the information. Sure, he could sit on it and confront Shepard after her business was concluded on Illium, or he could say something to the subject herself. Jack had been looking through datapads that held vast sums of information on them when he had seen her venture out from the engineering sub-deck. Bowing his head in frustration, he froze when he heard voices coming from the XO's office. Edging closer, while keeping himself from suspicion of eavesdropping, Kaidan confirmed what he thought he had heard. Akuze

* * *

"Yeah…" Jacob scratched his chin thoughtfully. "The Alliance was investigating allegations brought on by a Corporal Toombs after Shepard found him on Ontaron in the Newton system of the Kepler verge."

"That's right." Crossing her arms, Miranda frowned. "From what I understand, it's all true. Cerberus was running tests on the thresher maws there, and when Toombs survived the attack, they did the same with him."

"What was the point of that?!" Jacob leaned forward, palms resting on Miranda's desk, and when she looked at him, she saw something that she hadn't for a while: there was a hatred in his voice; it burned in his dark eyes, and she was slightly impressed. Unfortunately for him, it didn't last.

"Keep your voice down. We don't need anyone overhearing this." Giving him a level stare, she continued. "I have no idea what the objective was or why they were experimenting on creepers and Rachni in the first place. It would be far too dangerous and it sounds like it was… It wasn't my project, so I wasn't informed. You know that Cerberus cells work independently."

"I can still see where Shepard and Alenko wouldn't trust us." Bitterness overtook his tone, and Jacob went to leave, but Miranda's next words stopped him.

"This isn't the time to start a bloody rift between ourselves and Shepard. You know as well as I do that we need her for this mission to succeed. If she goes, so goes the fate of humanity. Take it up with the Illusive Man later, if you wish; he'll tell you the same thing he told me. It was a project that was beyond our concern."

"You asked him about this?" There was a hint of surprise in Jacob's voice. Miranda nodded.

"Since Shepard had been in contact with other cells before the Lazarus Project, yes. I was interested to see if it was in fact true what this Toombs had said." In truth, she had been highly doubtful of the accusations when she'd found the Commander's personal logs shortly before the reconstruction had begun. They'd been monitoring the Commander for a while before the Collectors had attacked the original Normandy, and that was one such piece of information that had crossed her desk. Naturally, she'd been curious.

"If she finds out about this-"

"She can't find out about this." Miranda's tone was sharp as she spoke. "That's how it was, and we have no control over what other cells do. We both knew that when we signed on to work with them. Tragic, but not our doing."

"Sounds like you'd consider telling her." Jacob had detected the note of distaste in Miranda's voice, but it had vanished as soon as it had come.

"No. Best she doesn't know… At least for now." There was nothing to be gained and everything to be lost from telling the Commander. They needed her focused, capable.

* * *

They had barely stopped talking when the door opened, causing Kaidan to move away quickly and act like he was busy. Looking to Gardner's left, he spotted the coffee pot. Going for a cup, Kaidan heard Jacob walk off straight for the lift that would take him back to the combat deck. Hearing footsteps behind, the Staff Commander turned to see Garrus striding past him, meeting with Miranda as she exited her office. The three vanished behind the lift, and Kaidan was left to his thoughts. What had he just overheard? Were Toombs' accusations really true? At the time, he had thought that the man was delusional. Shepard had managed to convince Toombs to let the Cerberus scientist face justice rather than a bullet, but it seemed that there was an undertone of disbelief. Sure, Cerberus was bad, but to provoke a thresher maw attack on a colony and wipe out almost an entire unit of marines for testing? That was pushing the boundaries of what he could believe at the time.

Now, standing on a Cerberus frigate, seeing Shepard working with them, and knowing that they had been responsible for Admiral Kahoku's death two years ago, Kaidan wasn't sure about a lot of things. Shepard was different; she sided with terrorists, murderers, and sick scientists that experimented with rachni, creepers, and their own people. She had once stood for the Alliance, fighting Cerberus at every turn, but now… Now, he wasn't sure he should remain here. Was she so far gone that she couldn't see reason? Was there not a way to get to the woman he still hoped was in there somewhere? Part of him didn't want to believe it. There had to be some way to obtain more information. It was too hard to believe, but after what he'd just overheard… he was no longer sure.

* * *

Returning to Ilium, Shepard felt a renewed sense of purpose. This was what she was good at doing. She hadn't seen Kaidan during their brief hiatus before this mission, for which a part of her was glad. While not normally one to shy away from confrontation, Shepard found herself unwilling to face the Staff Commander, or his accusations. She knew in her heart that she hadn't abandoned the Alliance. Or at least that was what she told herself. No one else would listen. No one else seemed to care about the Reapers or the Collector threat. Hell, it wasn't as if she'd chosen to wake up on that damned base!

Shoving the unwanted thoughts aside, Shepard focused on the mission. Liara had mentioned someone named Seryna. That was their best bet. They found an asari in the transport hub. "Seryna?" Shepard inquired as she and her squad walked over to the hub. "Who wants to know?" A deep purple hued asari replied without looking up from her terminal.

"Name's Shepard. Liara T'Soni said you might have information on Thane Krios."

That got her attention. The asari stood, walking out from behind her desk., telling the other asari to cover for her.

She motioned to Shepard, moving away from the hub. "Over here. Yeah, I know who Thane Krios is. I might've passed him some information but I didn't hire him. What do you want to know?" Shepard lifted her shoulders in a shrug.

"Maybe you can help me find him," she told the asari. Seryna scoffed.

"I can tell you, but you won't stop him," she assured the Commander.. "When he contacted me I checked up on him. The man never gives up on a job. I ran security for Nasanna Dantius. Then I found out she was having people killed to cover up her dirty secrets. She fired me when I confronted her. Her loss. I might've been good enough to stop Thane from taking her down," she told Shepard casually.

Shepard rubbed her chin for a moment, thinking. "Why does that name sound familiar?" she wondered aloud. Seryna answered the question for her.

"She was a representative on the Citadel a few years ago."

Shepard nodded, remembering the events while hunting Saren again. "Right.. she had me kill her sister, the slaver," Shepard recalled. Seryna scoffed in surprise.

"I thought that was just a rumor. Well, you know what she's capable of then. She has even more power here in Nos Astra. She uses it to keep her friends in check, and her enemies dead."

"If you work there you must have an idea what his opposition will be," Shepard commented and the asari nodded slightly.

"Eclipse mercs. High-tech killers. Undisciplined but very well equipped. She don't much care who they kill, as long as they're paid for it." There was a sour tone of distaste to Seryna's voice. "Thane as quite a reception waiting for him. I told him all I knew. He didn't seem worried."

"So where do I find Thane?" Shepard asked. Time was running short and she didn't know when Thane's job started, or if he was already in the midst of it.

"The Dantius Towers. Penthouse level of tower one," Seryna replied, moving towards the cab pedestal. She pointed across the way, at a group of skyscrapers climbing toward the sunset. As Shepard moved forward to attain a better view, the asari looked about furtively. "There's a second tower, still under construction. If Thane is smart, he'll go in from there."

Shepard folded her arms. "It doesn't sound like Nasanna is just going to let me in." They walked back to the desks.

"She's as smart as she is paranoid. No one's getting in or out of there without a fight. I can get you in, but you'll only get one shot. You'd better be ready."

"Do you know anything else about Thane?" Shepard asked. Never hurt to attempt to uncover more information.

The asari shrugged. "Not much. He did say he'd not doing the hit for money. Nobody hired him." Seryna sounded confused that the man would do such a thing without wanting pay, but continued. "I wanted to know who I was helping. He said he's doing this job on his own... the he had to "restore the balance of his life". I don't know. Maybe he's crazy. If he takes down Nasanna, I don't care why he does it."

Shepard regarded Seryna with an air of skepticism and no small amount of suspicion. "You're just offering your help.. no strings attached?" There was something that didn't quite sit right with the Commander. Either Seryna had another angle or she really hated Nasanna.

"You're going to look for Thane. Nassana's mercenaries will try to stop you. At the least, you'll distract her guards, take a little fire, give Thane a clear shot. I didn't hire him to kill Nasanna, but I won't shed any tears when she gets what's coming to her."

Shepard couldn't argue with that reasoning, and it did give her a solid lead on the assassin. "Let's go then," she told the asari.

"Good. I'm tired of this crap," Seryna huffed. "We'll go tonight as soon as the shift workers clear out of tower two."

After a short conversation, the Commander was able to convince her to take her to the Dantius Towers. Once there, Shepard saw just what Seryna had been talking about. The lobby area was lined with FENRIS and LOKI mechs. Easy enough to take out, they moved on, encountering a badly wounded salarian worker. Informed that there were more that had been gunned down or attacked by the "dogs", Shepard questioned Nassana's sanity. She had been concerned with appearances back when Shepard had found and killed her sister Dahlia, but this was a stretch. The worker informed them that there were probably more workers hiding throughout the tower. Moving on, the Commander found that to be correct.

The lower levels of the tower were filled with Eclipse engineers, vanguards, and commandos, as well as LOKI and FENRIS class mechs. Seryna hadn't been kidding when she had said that there was a private army protecting Nasanna. Reaching the upper floors, Shepard found a datapad that held the genetic history of the Kirrosa family lying on the floor. Remembering the salarian that had been on a frantic call near Seryna's station, she pocketed it. Miranda had spotted a locked door that held three salarians behind it. They warned Shepard of the bridge between the two towers and that Nasanna had many mercs up there. Only when the last group of workers was found did Shepard hear about Thane. He had shot a merc, leaving one of the salarians to grab his gun. Tellon seemed overly stressed and borderline paranoid, while his brother was more helpful. They warned that the winds were terrible between towers one and two.

Advancing a little further, the three reached the bridge and worked their way across it. Troopers, commandos, and vanguards were what awaited them; attack drones perched just at the top of the bridge, closest to the penthouse entrance. Gunning down the Eclipse mercs, Shepard couldn't help but admire their tactics. Stagger and use the environment to their advantage, use the grenade launchers to try and blow their enemies off the bridge, and use commandos as a last resort. Only when they had cleared the gusting winds did Shepard breathe a little easier. The asari commando that stood between them and their destination was a decent challenge, but in the end, she fell due to Garrus' shredder ammunition. Approaching the door that led to Thane's target, Shepard prepared for anything. Opening it, she was met with the silhouette of the asari. Nasanna had her back to them, looking out at the urban landscape that was Nos Astra. Hearing the trio's approach, she turned; dark eyes narrowed and fixed on the human. Surprise took over her expression when she recognized the human Spectre.

"Shepard… But you're dead."

"I've been getting that a lot lately." Shepard crossed her arms, green eyes narrowed. "I got better."

"I see..." Motioning for the two mercs flanking her to lower their weapons, Nasanna continued. "And now you're here to kill me…"

"Maybe I just missed you." The sarcasm was tangible between them. Shepard saw Nassana's eyes narrow as she turned away toward the window again, sending a glare over her shoulder toward the human.

"Screw you, Shepard."

"Charming as ever." Shepard didn't miss the slight quirk to the asari's lips as she looked over her shoulder again.

"I suppose you find this all very ironic. First you deal with my sister, and now you're here for me. Well, you've made it this far. Now what?"

"You really think I'm here to kill you?"

"Do you have another reason for decimating my tower? Eliminating my security?" Nasanna paced the floor behind the desk, the sun turning the ridges of her crest golden in their sunset hues.

"I'm simply looking for someone."

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" Finally turning to face her fully, Nassana's eyes roved over the turian and human companions that flanked Shepard. Garrus held his rifle close; ready to fire if needed. Miranda kept her pistol holstered; dark blue eyes narrowed as they regarded the eclipse mercs that flanked Nasanna. "Is it credits? Name your price and we can get this over with."

"All the credits in the galaxy won't make this problem go away, Nasanna." Hearing something above them thud softly, Shepard guessed that it was her desired target. Thane had apparently gone through the ductwork to get to the penthouse. Nassana's entire body tensed at her words, but she made no move to look up. Clearly she hadn't heard anything.

"Who the hell gave you the right to play God!" Teeth bared, Shepard could see the paranoia and anger that had been mostly bottled up during this brief meeting. It burned in her eyes as she stared at Shepard. "I may not be perfect, but look at you.. We've both killed people for money! What's the difference?"

"You've killed people because you think they're beneath you… or you think you're going to get stabbed or shot in the back." Advancing slightly, Shepard placed her hands on the desk, leaning forward slightly. "I kill people because they give me no choice." She locked eyes with the asari, watching her.

"You do have a choice…" Turning away to avoid Shepard's piercing green eyes, Nasanna looked out the vast window again. "You don't have to do this…" Looking back at the Commander, Shepard saw something different. There was no simple paranoia. There was fear in her eyes. Real fear. "I can tell you-" Cut off by the sudden movement of one of the mercs, the asari turned, her tone sharp as she spoke. "What?"

"I heard something."

"Dammit. Check those other entrances." Motioning toward the mercs, she glared back at Shepard. "You, stay put. When I'm done with these fools, I'll-"

She was cut off as someone dropped from the vent above. Gripping the neck of one of the mercs, they broke it; the merc crumpling to the floor silently. Stabbing the other one quickly, preventing her scream, the man, a drell she saw, pressed a heavy pistol against Nassana's chest, pausing only for a second to allow her to look up at him. He pulled the trigger; the sound of Nassana's weak and nearly lifeless protests as she was laid against her desk fading into a final, soft breath. Only when it was quiet and she heard slight movement did Shepard move to face her target. The drell stood over the now dead asari, folding her arms over her chest in a typical fashion for the dead. His eyes were closed, head bowed.

"Now we see the assassin himself." Miranda's words held a note of surprise and satisfaction. Shepard had to admit that Krios' work was impressive and needed. Nasanna could be a paranoid businesswoman, killing all those that were beneath her or in her way, but the thought crossed her mind; what made her this way? Stepping forward, she thought of what to say to this killer.

"I was hoping to speak with you." Smooth and precise with her words, she heard Garrus and Miranda follow her lead, coming to stand at her side. Thane didn't look up, though his body stiffened slightly.

"I apologize…" Interlacing his fingers as he stood over the asari, the drell continued, voice rough but quiet. "But prayers for the wicked must not be forsaken."

"Do you really think she deserves it?" Garrus' normal subharmonics were absent as he spoke quietly.

"Not for her; for me." Finally looking up, he opened his eyes. Dark, they landed on Shepard. "The measure of an individual is difficult to discern by actions alone. "Take you for instance; all this destruction and chaos… I was curious to see just how far you'd go to reach me." Pacing in front of the desk now, Thane found his place; he stood, blocking the view of Nassana's body. The sun bathed him in a strange golden hue, outlining his form and illuminating the side of his face as he leveled the three with a curious gaze. "Well, here I am."

"You knew I was coming." It was a statement, but she questioned his knowledge. Thane turned, resuming his pacing; dark eyes landing on Garrus, then back to Shepard.

"Not until you marched into the front door and started shooting." Back turned to Shepard, he continued. "Nasanna had become paranoid; you saw the sheer force of her guard. She believed that one of her sisters would kill her…" Turning his head slightly, Thane lowered his head in acknowledgement. "You… were a valuable distraction."

"You used me to get to her." The slight contempt in Shepard's voice was only marred by her slight approval. As Thane had just said, she was a valuable distraction; intentional or otherwise. "But I'll worry with that later. I'm here to ask for your assistance."

"Indeed." Still not looking at her, Thane nodded but remained silent.

"I'm on a mission to stop the Collectors. I'm sure you've heard of them."

"By reputation." Turning finally, Krios approached the window, rounding Nassana's desk in the process.

"They have been abducting entire human colonies in the Terminus Systems. Freedom's Progress and Horizon were their handiwork." Shepard felt a slight pull in the vicinity of her heart at the mention of Horizon. Kaidan was quick to enter her mind, though she shoved that thought back, focusing on the mission.

"I see."

"We're going to stop them." Basically spelling it out in those few words, Shepard was surprised by Thane's detachment to the entire thing. Whether it was normal for drell or not, it was new to her. Frustration growing at his continued silence, she chanced a look back at Miranda and Garrus. The turian seemed neutral, having no opinion, wile Miranda held that same frustrated glint in her eye. Thane finally spoke again, allowing the conversation to move forward.

"Stopping the Collectors would require passing through the Omega 4 relay. No ship has returned from doing so."

"They said it was impossible to get to Ilos too." Garrus remarked this, mandibles flaring slightly with amusement. Thane tilted his head to the side, observing Shepard for a moment, taking in what the turian said.

"True. It seems you have built a career on achieving the impossible." Focusing on the setting sun over the Nos Astra skyline, Thane looked thoughtful. "This was to be my last job." Bowing his head in what looked to be defeat, he admitted something that Shepard found odd. "I'm dying… Low survival odds don't concern me, however; the fate of your human colonies does."

"I hadn't heard…" What could she say? Shepard hadn't been prepared for something like this. Hearing that Drell were skilled, she had expected a quick and almost unsociable assassin, but this was different; he was different. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Giving me this opportunity is enough." Eyes closed again, Thane continued speaking. "The universe is a dark place: I've been trying to make it a little brighter before I die." Turning to face her, Shepard saw a small wave of realization cross the drell's face. "Many innocents died today. I wasn't quick enough, and they suffered. I must atone for that." Extending his hand, she took it, and he shook hers firmly. "I will work for you, Shepard; no charge."

Hearing commotion as they headed out onto the bridge, Shepard looked down. There were medical teams working with the salarian workers who had made it out, and crime scene techs were swarming the lower levels. Squinting, Shepard saw the unmistakable mobile hovering reporting aids that Khalisah Bintsinan Al-Jilani was famous for. She had to frown at the scene. Fortunately, she didn't have to look at it long. A skycar hovered nearby, coming in for a landing on the bridge ahead. When it opened, Shepard saw a familiar detective step out. Motioning for them to come closer, she crossed her arms; a smirk gracing her lips.

"Not enough that you wipe out an Eclipse band and bust an illegal trading ring, eh, Shepard?"

"Detective Anaya." Nodding to the asari, she stopped by the skycar. "Had some business to take care of. I'm surprised you're out here. I thought clearing off that Eclipse base would set you back a while."

"You kidding?" Motioning around and below them, the detective continued, amusement coloring her voice. "The justicar was as much excitement as I've really had in a few years. Now a call goes out that there's more trouble than usual up at Dantius Towers."

"Unintentional." Miranda stated this with a slight amused note. "But it wasn't preventable."

"Noted." Motioning to the skycar, Anaya watched as Miranda, Garrus, and Thane sat down in the rear seat, while Shepard took passenger. Resuming her place in the driver's, the detective closed the skycar and lifted off from the bridge, activating her omni tool in the process. There was a lot of comm chatter coming in as she responded. "Topside clear. Hostiles down. Send them up. Caution on the bridge."

"Copy that. Any casualties?" At this, Anaya glanced toward Shepard, who nodded grimly.

"Hand full of mercs and Dantius herself. Notify the family."

"Acknowledged."

Deactivating her omni tool, the detective continued driving, heading for the transit hub near the Nos Astra trading floor. "So, what happened?"

"You really want to know?" Seeing the asari roll her eyes slightly, Shepard had to suppress a short laugh. "We were looking for the one that put a hit on Nasanna Dantius. Instead, we found the one who carried it out." When the asari's eyes darted back toward the drell, Shepard nodded. He was who we were looking for to assist in that mission I mentioned earlier."

"Rumor had it that you were building a small army. It's… unsettling to know it was right."

"Don't worry." Garrus said this with a slight laugh. "No one here is a target."

"Forgive me if that's not comforting." Beginning the descent to the transit hub, Anaya removed a datapad from the console between herself and Shepard. "I was asked to pass this along from someone near the transit station. Handing it off to Shepard, she intercepted some radio traffic on her omni tool, hearing only "The bitch is dead," when Shepard initiated playback. "Well, if that wasn't subtle."

"Former employee. She was the one that got us into the tower." Shepard eyed the omni tool that had been activated again. "Sounds like this is big news."

"Pain in the ass press." Deactivating the omni tool again, Anaya shifted the skycar so that it could prep for landing. "They'll be crawling all over the borders of that crime scene. She was a well-known target around here."

"Indeed." Thane's simple quip made Shepard nod.

"Yeah she's caused quite a stir. Too bad she isn't alive to deal with it."

"She's better off, to be honest." Eying the silhouette of the towers as the car landed, Anaya frowned. "Rumor was that she was paranoid and losing her mind."

"Beyond paranoid." Shepard motioned for the others to step out ahead as the skycar opened again, revealing the transit hub and Dara's office. "I think she was losing it."

"That whole family's knee-deep in it." Anaya remained where she was while Shepard stepped out, joining the others near the stairs leading up to the pedestal. "Ah well, duty calls. I've got to get back and take statements from those salarian workers. Good that you got them out alive."

"They were lucky." Thinking of the first one they had encountered, bleeding out on the floor in the atrium, Shepard shook her head. "She didn't have to do that. Thanks for the lift, Detective. Hopefully the investigation phase won't last long."

"Figured you'd rather avoid the reporters. Investigating this is more or less a courtesy. We basically know what happened. It was coming for a while. Those salarians and the other workers that managed to escape deserve some semblance of justice."

"Heard that." Hearing the engine kick in again, she stepped back. "Pleasure as always, detective."

"Be well, Shepard."

The skycar lifted off, aimed for the towers again, and Shepard turned abruptly on her heel. The Normandy was just beyond this area, and so was the Staff Commander that was slowly easing his way back to the forefront of her thoughts. As she rounded the various kiosks on the trading floor, she glanced back up toward Liara's office. She could just see the asari maiden looking down over the lower level. When their eyes met, Shepard felt a tension in her chest. Not sure why, she made a mental note to return here and hack those terminals. It would at least get her mind off of Kaidan. Once back aboard the Normandy, Jacob met them in the comm room, and to Shepard's surprise, his mood was less than welcoming.

"Heard impressive stories about you, Krios." Crossing his arms, Jacob landed Thane with a cold stare. "You'll be a decent asset to the team… That is if you feel comfortable having an assassin watching your back."

"I've accepted a contract." Thane matched Jacob's stare, dark eyes betraying no emotion. "My arm is Shepard's."

"Uh-huh… I'm more loyal to Shepard, not my next paycheck."

"Obviously he is too. He's doing this mission for nothing." Shepard looked between the assassin and th ex-Alliance soldier. "What's your concern, Jacob?"

"I don't like mercenaries; an assassin is just a precise mercenary."

"An assassin is a weapon. He does not choose who to kill. The one who wields him does." Thane said this bluntly, and Shepard could agree partially with that statement. Jacob didn't seem to. He scowled and looked away. "Where should I put my things? I would prefer some place dry, if available."

"The area that houses the life support plant on the crew deck tends to be slightly more arid than most other parts of the ship." EDI's voice surprised Shepard as the blue holo form appeared at the base of the table before her. Shepard nodded in approval.

"Ah, an AI." Slightly surprised by EDI's appearance, Thane quickly recovered. "My thanks." He owed low and made for the exit, heading for the crew deck, and as the door closed behind him, EDI spoke again.

"He seems quite civil."

Once the room was quiet, Shepard turned to Jacob, and she wasn't alone. Miranda was still in the room; dark blue eyes focused on the Cerberus soldier. Unsure of what to say to him, Shepard paused. It was odd for Jacob to show a blunt distrust of anyone that Shepard had been asked to recruit. He seemed to be open to everyone else: a convict, scientist, Krogan, "Archangel", and a Justicar. Now, he seemed to distrust someone?

"We need all the help we can get on this mission." Miranda said this with a slightly cold tone to her voice. Shepard had to agree fully.

"He's not what I expected in an assassin. He may surprise you, Jacob."

"Yeah." Straightening up as he prepared to leave, Jacob still wore that scowl that suggested he wasn't convinced. "And he may not." Walking out of the comm room, he left the two alone. Miranda shook her head in exasperation.

"Is he going to be a problem? He's seemed fine so far." Shepard questioned this aloud, half expecting Miranda not to answer. The Cerberus operative surprised her, though.

"Hopefully not. He may have his objections, but he knows why we're here and why we're recruiting all these people. I'll assume he'll keep his personal feelings to himself."

Choosing to head to the armory and restock on thermal clips, Shepard saw that Jacob wasn't there. Part of her was glad. She didn't need the get into another argument. She'd had her fill of that, thank you. With the clips replaced in her pistol and assault rifle and the one in her sniper rifle checked, Shepard headed up to her quarters to remove her armor. Though she would be returning to Illium shortly, from what Liara said, she wouldn't be leaving the port. There wasn't much need for full body armor in a place such as that. Wanting a chance to go without it, she looked forward to hacking the terminals. It was a chance to use other skills aside from tactics and strategy. Or pulling a trigger. While not a tech genius of any sort, Shepard was more than comfortable with most systems. Her ability to notice detail and to adapt her thinking made it much less difficult to grasp the concepts of hacking or infiltration.

Removing her armor and wiping it down, Shepard couldn't stop thinking. Kaidan, Horizon, Illium, Liara, and the entire Collector mess were all circling around in her head, beating a tattoo in her brain. Knowing that she should spend more time speaking with Kaidan than she was, the Commander kept putting that off. Kaidan wasn't the one she should talk to; he still had his distrust of Cerberus to work out. In truth, she couldn't blame him, though. Waking up on the Cerberus station she'd felt, and still did feel. Must of that same distrust. Seeing all that she had back when they were pursuing Saren, it was no secret why he didn't trust the "pro-human" splinter group. Finding admiral Kahoku dead at the hands of the organization and then hearing that the Alliance attributed his death to "natural causes" when his body was littered with needle punctures still didn't sit right with Shepard.

Once done wiping down her armor, the Commander returned to her desk. There, she gazed at the various model ships that she'd been acquired so far in her travels. The Normandy SR1, Sovereign, the Destiny Ascension, and a few others glinted back at her from their places above the desk. Looking at the Asari dreadnaught and flagship of the Citadel fleet, she reflected on how the Geth had nearly ruined everything, along with Saren, following Sovereign and its campaign of annihilation. Eyes landing on the reaper as well, there was still a sense of dread that filled her as she gazed at it. Reapers were causing all of this: the near death of the council and ten thousand crewmen aboard the Ascension, the five hundred dead alliance soldiers taken out when they followed her order to save the Citadel dreadnaught, countless lives lost when Saren tried taking over the station and when Sovereign crashed, her death, and now her temporary alliance with Cerberus. A flash caught her eye, and upon examining her terminal, she found that there was a new message. She had to sit down when she read who the sender was.

Toombs.

_From: Toombs_

_What the hell kind of game are you playing, Shepard? You did the buddy act when I had the gun on that Cerberus scientist, telling me you understood. Now I find out that you're working for Cerberus?_

"I can't believe this…" Eyes glued on the message, Shepard shook her head in utter disbelief. Toombs had been slightly delusional when she had found him on that remote world in the Kepler Verge, but this was out of line.

_Tests were done on me that you can't even imagine. For years. Cerberus did them. They tortured me. They used me as a damn lab rat. And now you're teaming up with them like they're any other merc band?_

"Any other merc band? Really, Toombs…" She hadn't had a choice in the matter. This argument mirrored the one she was having with Kaidan currently ands she found it angered and hurt her almost as much. All other options had been lost when the Collectors had destroyed the SR1. Everything that had happened in the last three years had been a result of the Reapers' imminent invasion: Saren and the Geth attacking Eden Prime, Benezia's death on Noveria, Ash's sacrifice on Virmire, the suffering of the colonists and Shiala on Feros, the near destruction of the Citadel and Council, and that had only been the tip of it. They had all faced the annihilation of the galactic races and civilization at that point. Then, while isolating and hunting down remaining Geth forces beyond the veil, she had lost her ship, her crew, and her life. The Collectors were simply being used by Harbinger as tools. So yes, this was all out of her control.

_I've got my own merc team now, Shepard. And I kill any Cerberus team I can find. If I run into you, don't expect any different._

"I can only hope that it never comes to that…" Leaning back in her chair, Shepard marked the message as read and kept it as a reminder, rather than deleting it. It bothered her. Yes, Cerberus had run tests on him. Yes, they had broken him down; both mentally and physically. Yes, they had been responsible for the death of a unit of marines and their CO, Admiral Kahoku. Unfortunately, they were, right now, the only ones believing that the Reapers actually existed. They were the only ones that hadn't been ready to shove her body into a casket and archive it at one of the better cemeteries. Toombs' accusations back in the Kepler Verge still bothered her, though. He had pointed the finger at Cerberus as far as the events on Akuze went. Was it true? Did they actually provoke the maws on that peaceful colony? Were they the ones behind what scarred her soul to this day? In a way, she wanted to know, but a part of her was afraid of the answer.

Standing abruptly, Shepard strode down the few steps, not really sure about what she was doing, and found herself gazing up at the rapidly moving starfield above her. The skyward porthole showed her what she had always been used to seeing. Space was just part of who she was. It had been since her birth, but now it wasn't home. Not anymore. No, now it was her endless prison; secrets about her past and the unknown that was the future shielded by its darkness. It was unsettling.

* * *

Shepard wasn't the only one lost to thought on the Normandy. Kaidan stared out into the vast blackness of space from the port observation room. He was thinking of how he'd felt, reuniting with Shepard down on Horizon, before knowing… well before things went to hell. The feel of her in his arms, her scent. He felt a pang of grief.. or was that longing? So much had changed. The joy at seeing Shepard had changed in an instant when she'd said those words; Cerberus. In a heartbeat the woman he'd loved… it was as if he were staring at a stranger. The same face, same voice.. but different somehow, at least in his eyes. Kaidan heaved a weary sigh, placing his hand on the cool glass. He still had no proof that Shepard had been 'resurrected' by Cerberus, or if she'd even died. All he had was her word. It should've been enough for him. Yet, it wasn't. Somehow he needed tangible evidence. He stared out at the stars and nebulae that stretched out into infinity before him. It seemed to the Staff Commander the same distance that lay between he and Shepard now. Hell, it was probably less that distance, he thought wryly. He wondered if that distance would ever wane.


End file.
